I started doing something different with the sky, which will eventually affect the lighting of the whole painting. This one has been tough. I have never painted on canvas before, and I prefer wood. Maybe I have just gotten used to it. I have been coding up some changes related to this post: They are less draconian, and I hope will be better received. I’ll probably push it tomorrow. I will be removing user promotion, which should lower the barrier to entry. Thanks to those of you sending the positive vibes. Despite the COVID19, I’m looking forward to cooler weather. If it weren’t for time at the cottage, July and August would be my least favorite months.
Those clouds on the left are awesome. It’s hard to believe that you have been painting for this long workout using canvass. That has to be unusual.
for root cause reasons I'll never understand... coupled with environmental factors I totally understand... I had a terrible mental health day. I woke up feeling on top of the world. Could not have been better. Finished an audiobook with my wife on our morning walk.... and one side comment that didn't matter just wormed its way in to my brain and festered and I allowed it to grow. Things at work started piling up. A friend sent me a picture of us from 20 years ago where I am much more handsome and had some form of happiness in my eyes. My neck is tense. Work issue after work issue after infrastructure issue bores into my skull like a pneumatic nail gun. I feel tired. Personnel issue plus a couple of fighting kids, plus remote school issue, plus a peer at work who not-so-subtly tries to belittle me and put me in a corner. I can feel my heart beating now, like it's punching my ribs from the inside. Another escalated customer is upset because they changed a setting in our software and a member of my team wasn't able to immediately fix their problem. so tired now. My peer who knows she's better than me not-so-subtly reminds me again. thoughts Are getting darker now. Quit Slack Quite Zoom Quit Outlook Put computer to sleep Stand up Walk four paces Collapse in bed Turn off phone sleep . . it worked a bit. Woke up in time for my 3pm meeting. the darkness persists. I'm going to ride my bike for a while. I hope your days are better days.
Hey pal, I hope today is better for you. Whatever brings you joy, do that today. It’s not selfish to take some time for yourself. Ride that bike, pick up that guitar. Play hockey. It’s not just for you, it’s for those around you. Also, fuck that person at work. Nobody is better than steve. Nobody!
Was invited to a burner wedding in Berlin a few weeks ago. It was restricted to 100 guests but apart from that, it was so fun! They booked a half-renovated castle to celebrate and that whole thing was run by the guests (just like a burn). I have my worries that it was not enough battery charge to carry me through the winter, but I take what I get. I was pushed into doing a "fire show", as in, playing to music, alone, in front of an audience. I was super scared to mess it up, but it turned out super fun. https://streamable.com/apjkqi The next stop was then Hamburg to visit some friends that have two particularly cute Japanese dogs. A Shiba-Inu called Bara and a Shikoku called Totoro! Plus, I got to play the same "show" again. This time with more confidence. That was fun too: https://streamable.com/27fcg4 After three days of drinking and trying out Kratom for the first time, I head to Bremen to visit another group of friends. I was so exhausted by then that I ended up just partying one night and passing the other. Now the weather flipped completely and I can smell autumn!
fall is in the air and I love it! A little frustrated with the plastic non-profit stuff right now. I feel I'm not a great leader, because even if I ask people to do stuff, I mostly end up doing the things myself. Am i just not asking the right way? Not asking the right people? Not asking for the right things? I'm not sure... But this whole thing kind of reminds me of why I've always liked working alone or in tandem with someone I vibe with. And always hated group projects at school. On the good side of things, we took appart the shredder yesterday, re-arranged the blades in a different order and it seems to be working like a charm now! Fixed our jamming issues and shreds about 5 times faster. This time spent messing around in the metal shop is part of the reason I even joined a project like this in the first place, I want to learn some random building skills without taking boring classes or struggling by myself pointlessly. But I'm always delegated to organisation, coms, web, business or other computer work because I'm pretty good at it. Glad I broke out of that a little and got to do some fun stuff finally. Gonna try fixing up the bike we found in the trash at the beginning of summer tomorrow. I've been talking about going bike touring for years now, and it kind of was my Covid goal before I got side tracked. My city bike is fixed gear so it was a no-go, but I also don't want to spend any money on this endeavour (maybe that's stupid? I feel I usually wait waaaay too long before investing in toys for hobbies). I think the bike is almost ready, but the gears are jumpy and funky. Never messed around with it but I'm going to try with the makerspace tools tomorrow, see how far I can get. I'm sure youtube will help. If it's good enough I'll try to at least do the 5h ride to my parent's country house this fall.
I have never tried doing bike touring. That sounds fun. The closest I have come to that is taking my wife and grandson on the local rail trail. I live in a (small) city and the roads are too busy to go on a leisure ride. I would have to drive somewhere else to find roads I would be comfortable tooling around on. Let us know how your ride goes. I wouldn't be adverse to seeing a travel log with pictures!
I love running! I'm fully back into running at last, finally. You may remember I injured my knee and took some time off; then I had moving to do. Now I am back at it and 3 for 3 runs in the past few days. Some inside, some outside. The new apartment complex has a gym and even if it's only open M-F 9-5 because "COVID", damn it if I'm not going to get my use out of it. Every time I've used it I've been the only one there. It's been lovely -- as lovely as running on a treadmill can be. (When you compare the treadmill to >80% humidity and highs in the 90s, yes, I accept it.) I planted a little 9-pot herb garden when I moved in -- that's all of about 2 weeks ago -- and every plant has sprouted. It is very pleasant. This is a very positive update, or it reads like one. I'm not always so positive about life -- COVID, and all that -- but I am doing my best right now to use the move to Richmond to help get closer to the person whom I want to be. I also finally told off Florida-Army guy for being a waste of my time, because really -- he is. I have no need to keep up daily flirtations with a guy who lives 13 hours from me and is never going to live closer. I became irritated when, after I began ignoring him, he basically upped the attention fest. How do you say, "I miss you" to someone you've met once? I am going to find some right person to date here in Virginia -- but I'm going to take my time. Right now, I need to take my time to ground myself in the habits I want to live. So OKC is disabled again for now (after one first date). That's okay. I don't think COVID is a great time to gallivant around and meet strangers anyway. Even if you take all your dates outside -- no one's wearing masks for patio seating, and all that. I'm going back home this weekend for probably 24-36 hours. Clean the last of my crap out of my apartment, tolerate my idiot sister for a little while (she managed to get drunk, start a wrestling match, bite her opponent's ear, and walk away with torn ligaments in her shoulder which have basically put her out of work -- I think I can call her 'idiot'), enjoy limited time with my parents and then jet back in time to maybe enjoy some of the long weekend as well. Maybe. I certainly hope so. I haven't spend a weekend exploring Virginia yet -- my first weekend was busy with my parents and setting up the apartment, my second weekend was busy netflix and chlling and then essentially-dumping the downstreet neighbor -- I need to actually, like -- go out!! Into Richmond! The cemeteries and the parks! The monuments and the places where monuments used to be! And so on. Pensively yours!
Melbourne here. The city is still in hard lockdown. Daily new case numbers are now in the double figures, but it's likely the lockdown will continue until the end of September. As of Monday, we will officially be property owners (and mortgaged). We're moving in on Tuesday. I'll take photos and share them with you all next week. I must say while I'm not a prolific poster here, I do very much enjoy checking in to Hubski.
I'm in full-on avoidance mode. And I'm not sure why. Here's how I know; my list of projects: Taking bass lessons (Scott's Bass Lessons, Fretboard Accelerator course) Redesigning the roof of my workshop ... in SketchUp, which I am re-learning after a couple dormant years Rehabilitating my front lawn, with a mattocks and 5 yards of topsoil Building a retaining wall and patio in my back yard Resto-modding a motorcycle in my workshop Building plant stands for my wife's epic collection of potted plants Planting/maintaining fruit and veggie plants, plus ornamental trees Rewriting the first season of a TV series I was working on years ago Writing two new screenplays Working with my parents on major home renovation plans (their home) Planning the gutting and renovation of the entire downstairs in my home Working with a contractor on the design/building of our new back deck Relocating the new washer and dryer in our laundry room Building walls in our carport to create a safer all-season storage area Collaborating with the fan clubs for the new MLR teams, to help them get set up and running Created and managing mailing list for my neighborhood Creating and managing a similar mailing list for my remote bandmates project Recording music with my remote band project Removing the old forced-air ducting in my house... ... so I can seal up those spaces and keep the heat in the rooms that need it Getting back on a strict Keto diet to lose weight (and yard work is helping, too!) Producing new electronic music in GarageBand Looking for a new job because I'm not convinced my company is going to avoid layoffs much longer Researching what I need to do with my long-term investments now the Fed has abdicated their base responsibilities to the market ... Yeah, COVID. Yeah, the world is on fire. But ... maaaan ... I'm filling up my time to avoid something. No doubt about that. Taking guitar lessons (Fender Play)
First week of school is not treating me well. I had the fortune of not having any lectures the half term before summer, just project-work, lecture manuscripts to read through and zoom mentoring sessions. Nothing that entailed sitting in front of a screen for 2 (or 4) hours at a time, having to memorize and retain as much information as normal but without having the benefit of a classroom setting or a lecturer who is able to read the room, and with all the distractions of being in your own home. I really didn't think I would find distance-mode that awful. Yeah, it would suck getting zero human contact most days, and losing contact with my class but when it comes to the actual learning I didn't think I would find it all that hard. After all, spring term went fine and I did over half of high-school from my home. Well. As I've now learned there is a difference between content designed to be taught from a distance, and content having to be taught from a distance despite not being designed for that. (And also this material is harder to grasp than for example high-school natural science.) So most lecture so far have been a vicious cycle of the following. 1. I try and pay attention. 2. I don't feel like I am following or understanding the material. 3. I look at twitter, or reddit, or cookieclicker to distract myself from the anxiety of not understanding/the boredom of listening to something I don't understand. 4. I feel guilty for not trying hard enough. And then that over and over for 2 hours. I realize that I need to break this cycle, and the best way to do so is to try and just... Be okay with not getting it, and hoping that something will click in place once I have to use the knowledge I have gained practically. And then just pay attention and not fall into the trap of "well I'm not getting this so I might as well just look at my phone". Because then even if I don't get the subject I'm not feeling like shit over not paying attention properly. I'll try and knit or something on Monday, because then my hands will be occupied with very little brainpower used and it will hopefully be calming and distracting enough that I don't just sit and think about how I am fucked because I don't understand. And like, I am academically competent. I am in general confident in that I will pass my classes (eventually) if I put the work in. I have read the prerequisites for my classes, I am not in a bad position when it comes to getting the material. But it does feel like nothing is entering my brain at all. I try and tell myself it's just been a week. We've had very little practical work and assignments were we apply our knowledge. I'm not even behind, even though it feels like I am. I'm just hoping that everything will feel like it clicks eventually, hopefully real soon.
Benched 140kg this week. That's my lifetime bench goal attained with minimal fanfare. Last time I tried it before lockdown it pretty much folded me - this time it barely registered as a difficult lift. Not sure what to aim for now. Jokingly told the gym owner I'd cancel my membership cause I've done everything I set out to do but sure enough I was back in the next day cause it's routine and lets be honest, I'm gonna try lift more anyway.
HOME Spent part of Saturday working on trim for the hallway. Had to make a cover for the radiator at the top of the stairs using bits and pieces of leftover wood from other projects. After cutting the pieces I realized I screwed up a couple of the cuts. Managed to put it together, but then dropped it and it fell apart. Spent way too long pulling nails and rebuilding it. Final result is .... okay, but at least it is done. Sapped my energy for doing anything more for the day. Then Sunday the weather was so nice I decided to take the wife kayaking at local lake, then dove into yard work finishing a bunch of cleanup that got left after the big spring projects. Yard looks so much better without all of the piles of twigs and branches, but got so little done inside. This weekend we are going away so won't get anything done. Humbug. Family This weekend is my mother-in-law's 80th birthday, so the family is all going up to celebrate. Everyone is camping out in the yard and establishing social distance zones. At least I have an excuse for avoiding certain folks. Local schools have decided to go full remote until October, then review infection rates before deciding when/if they are going hybrid. Someone managed to pull the right strings and the school got a grant to buy every student a laptop, that they get to keep even after schools are back in the building full time. Very generous. I wish every town/city had that ability. Now I just hope my daughter's teachers are able to a better job of remote teaching. In the Spring they just assigned a bunch of reading and YouTube videos. My daughter struggled terribly with that approach. She needs more interactive lectures and to be able to ask questions. Work Just hosted my first online training for new staff. Normally I do one-on-ones with new staff, but today I had a dozen in a Zoom session. I always feel like I overwhelm them with information, but it has proven to be very helpful for staff to get a high-level training so that their future trainings can build on it. Otherwise they get a bunch of super specific trainings (well spaced apart) that have no context. I just feel bad that the have to listen to be drone on in my monotonous voice for two hours. In the end, a good week. Some progress on projects at home (even if not the ones I intended to work on). Some relaxing time with the wife. And the weather is turning to my favorite season. As much as I hate raking leaves, I love the colors and the cool days. Time to get the firepit ready!