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user-inactivated  ·  433 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: June 5, 2019

    Do you think it's possible to meaningfully distinguish someone and the things that person does? Or, in a context: can you love someone and yet think the things they do are terrible and hateful?

Without a doubt. I won't give details about what some of the people in my life do that worries me so, because they're not able to be here to speak for and defend themselves. What I will say though is, knowing that people I love embrace attitudes or engage in behaviors that I think are wrong, unhealthy, dangerous, or what have you, is it's important to remind myself why I love them but also why it's important to have boundaries. Just because I want someone to be a part of my life, to be there for them and to help them and support them, it doesn't mean I have to let that relationship cause problems for me, my life, and my other relationships. It's a balancing act, and one that often has me considering and reconsidering where I stand with people and why.