Good question, I'm just going to run through what's going on. I just got married and bought a house a town over from where I grew up. I love my wife, she's the one pushing me to think about what I want to do, and I love my house, I've always been the person who just wanted to be a homeowner. I also feel like I'm doing pretty well socially - guy's night once a week, a good d&d group monthly, close family and plenty of vacations. I also just joined a church, I'm not a church person but we work a large garden and make meals from what we grow to give to the hungry which feels worth while. The reason I feel like it's work that's the issue is because I'm so often running into walls here. I'm fine with running into walls, but I feel like I don't have the right tools (personality wise) to bring them down. I also feel like I ended up here by "going with the flow" and not by being the captain of my own ship. I'm not sure if that's what I want.