I'm quietly falling apart. I'm anxious, overwhelmed and tired. The thoughts of self-harm are coming back, for the first time since months or even years.
I have several important uni projects pending, and I can't seem to make any progress in any of them. Two of them are already post-deadline, and I haven't even started making sense of them. I've skipped a month's worth of classes already, and only have enough in me to visit the classes I like or those where attendance is as much as you need to get a credit.
Tried to reach out with that to a couple of people. They didn't know what I'm talking about and didn't care to find out. Neither has shown me sympathy or empathy. Shit, it was me who ended up extending the hand, because I'm giving.
I have no idea what to do. All I know is that action breeds action: what you do defines what you do next. I'm gonna see if I can gather it and put myself through one of the tougher subjects I've been skipping tomorrow.
I'm giving a private lesson on Russian to Patrick, and as much as I am excited about it, I don't even have the basic materials for it. All because I can't do enough to make it to the search.
I'm a fucking mess.