a thoughtful web.
Good ideas and conversation. No ads, no tracking.   Login or Take a Tour!
comment
_refugee_  ·  2639 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: January 4, 2017

Frankly I'm in the middle of it and don't know what to think about it.

I suspect men are hit on less than women. I think when you're not hit on a lot, it's much harder to recognize and also much easier to doubt another person's claim that they were getting hit on.

Honestly, I wouldn't be going around talking about how this dude possibly hit on me at Goodwill, in any capacity, except for my brother - first, obviously, his involvement. But beyond that, AKA a large part of why I'm confident in "He was hitting on me" territory, is because my brother was there, an observer who wasn't a participant in the conversation but saw the whole thing, and he independently came to the same conclusion about the guy's behavior as I did. I didn't get into the car and say, "Aw man, that guy just hit on me, did you see that??"

As for whether I'm mistaken - I don't think it matters as much as you think, what his intention was. The road to hell is paved with good ones. If I came up to you and got handsy with you because "You looked like you needed a hug and I wanted to make you feel better," that doesn't give me a free pass on intruding your personal space and touching you if you don't want me to do that.

You can always say I didn't intend to do that; it's real easy, in fact, especially afterwards. Kind of like "I'm sorry." You can say it all you want. It doesn't change your actions or the impact of them.