Dude. Dude. Have I got the game for you. 1) Wander over to TDAmeritrade. 2) Give them a tiny amount of money. Transfer a 401K, whatever. You need to put money away for retirement anyway, right? 3) Okay. Put that money somewhere sensible and safe and don't fucking touch it. David Bogle (guy who founded Vanguard) says that you can safely put your money in between one and three ETFs and never worry about it again. There are a bunch of ways to not overthink it. Awright. So now you have a little money somewhere you're not going to fuck with it. Now you get to download THE VIDEO GAME. Obviously, they want you to use this thing to play with real money. They make money when you fuck around with real money. however, they understand that (A) playing with real money with this thing is kind of like handing the keys to a Ferrari to a teenage boy (B) that teenage boy will be more likely to want a real Ferrari once he's done a few laps in the simulator. So they give you Two.Hundred.Thousand Fake Dollars to fuck around with. I love it. I made like twenty thousand fake dollars last year and have lost like eight thousand fake dollars in the past week alone. I can do asinine shit like buy a hundred fake shares of Chipotle and lose my shirt, or short Walmart just because I hate them. It allows me to do all the reckless bullshit every investment guru will tell you not to do in nerf-ville so I can learn just what an asshole I truly am when it comes to money. It's super fun. If you told me a year ago that I'd be fucking around with fifty grand in fake Blackberry options I would have laughed at you but you know what? I don't get Fantasy Football; I'll never manage a team. But wargaming my fake money moves sure makes me a lot more confident with the real stuff. Lethargy bordering on sloth remains the cornerstone of our investment style: This year we neither bought nor sold a share of five of our six major holdings.