Some crazy stuff going on in my life. Finally got treated for undiagnosed ADD that had plagued me since I was a kid. Surely enough, I scored high on basically every symptom. Forgetting items all the time, general absent-mindedness, inability to concentrate for longer than five minutes on basically anything. I didn't realize that reckless behaviour fell into this category. My mother had to complete a sheet called "misbehaviour during teen years" regarding me, ughhh.
I'm sad at the time I've wasted in my life when I could have seriously benefited from medication. I'm angry at myself for all the irrational impulses. But on the other hand, I'm all too aware of how dangerous stimulants can be. I got on a very low dose of Vyvanse and I feel nothing... but that's the point. You don't feel hyperactive. You feel calm, collected, serene. You feel good about yourself. That's scary.
At this point one of two things are going to happen. I'm going to release a second mixtape and get a Ph.D, or start dealing meth in the back of an Olive Garden. Let's hope it's not #2. I've been losing contact with reality since day 1 but it keeps goin'.
Anyway, I don't know. I have a new motto, spread more love, spread less fear and hate. I'm going to try to be less of a jackass from now on.