An inevitability. I like that. Reminds me of Ted Chiang's short story, Story of Your Life. Basically, he espouses there are two ways of looking at perception: the sequential, cause-and-effect one and the Dr.-Manhattan-esque I-know-what-will-happen-but-I-can-only-watch-while-it-does one. What do you mean by "do what's fair" though? I don't really trust my judgment when it comes to these things because I am aware I have lived a rather sheltered life. I'm a suburb kid, unlike my SO, so I figured there's a lot of things that I was made oblivious to while growing up.
Anyway, the reason why I asked this question is that I have observed that whenever I go through big changes, I also change in a big way. I usually don't survive unscathed. I still haven't found a "core" personality I can anchor myself to and I'm kind of getting tired of dealing with new things and new unknowns and new life goals. So basically what I'm asking is, is there a way to ensure some measure of stability while going through these phases? I can foresee maybe four or five more big changes in my immediate future and I would really like to be prepared for them.