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comment by insomniasexx
insomniasexx  ·  2016 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: The Bridezilla Phenomenon

She brings up many points of value, however I think she generalizes and looks at the idea too simply to really delve into the bigger truths.

Sentences like this one

    Women are taught from the beginning of our lives to deny our own happiness and independence in favor of making others happy. We are too often relegated to the back seat, made invisible, ignored.

are just to general and, IMO, pretty untrue. You can obviously find certain cases, like the washer/dryer one, that are probably pretty typical. But to flat out say such a huge statement like women are taught to deny our own happiness irks me and I don't agree at all.




swearitwasntme  ·  2016 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I agree that this involves some simplifications. Do you think, though, that the Bridezilla cliche or trope or stereotype or whatever you want to call it describes a real trend in our culture or just a label that someone slapped on something you could find in any group of people anywhere? It seems like a real thing from the few weddings I've been involved in - it can change people in the time leading up to the event. If it's real, what else do you think figures into it?

insomniasexx  ·  2015 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Note: I'm not married, nor am I at the age where a ton of my friends are getting married.

I might guess that another root cause for the Bridezilla phenomenon is that women are expecting a huge, lavish wedding and expecting to be the center of attention and expecting everything to go perfectly. However, events like this rarely go perfectly.

I know from personal experience in non-wedding situations, the times when I get most disappointed and angry and even "psycho bitch" status is when I am expecting something and it doesn't happen. Little things like expecting to go to the beach on your one day off and instead the day gets wasted by things beyond your control. I realize that the anger is a byproduct of disappointment, however it doesn't change the anger in the moment.

Also, weddings are extremely stressful periods of time and I find that stress doesn't help you manage or deal with your emotions properly. Instead of clearly expressing what you want/need in a way that others can understand and help you, you snap at people. When I'm stressed I feel like "I don't have the time to deal with this, just fucking do it" rather than taking a moment to calmly express what needs to happen.

These two things combined are never good and probably contribute more to the bridezilla than "women are ignored except on their wedding day."

AlderaanDuran  ·  2015 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    I might guess that another root cause for the Bridezilla phenomenon is that women are expecting a huge, lavish wedding and expecting to be the center of attention and expecting everything to go perfectly. However, events like this rarely go perfectly.

I do wedding photography, and shoot like 20-30 weddings some summers... this is the conclusion I've come to as well. Women who have even slight tendencies at being overwhelmed, combined with a little bit of selfishness, ALWAYS blow up. Since I normally shoot the engagement session too before the wedding, I can almost pick which ones will be a "bridezilla" now. Then sure enough they start freaking out at their now husband shortly before the ceremony and continue getting worse throughout the day.

It's always the "princess" types. Every. Single. Time.