I have a backlog of art. I collect all the mediums tha tcna give me insight into humanity. Books, records, films. I spend all my time in them but I will never catch up. I'll never be able to complete all that I hope to. It's a painful thought that the things that keep me who I am and sane will never be complete in a way I want them to be.

I have a backlog in education. Poverty puts a stop to this. Bureaucracy and plutocracy ensures that stop. There is nothing more painful than this. There is no way not to feel extreme rage when I know what I'm capable, I have proved that I have the intelligence to do anything, and yet here I sit accepted to multiple top universities and I am unable to get an education because of goddamn money. I sit every day at my dead end IT job and stew in the fears of my future unless a university provides for me.

I have a backlog of rage. And cynicism. And misanthropy. It takes every bit of my self to sit at my job or my house day after day and continue to hold hope that I will be able to advance myself, that the world continues to be open to improvement, that people strive to be good when I have nothing but time and evidence to the contrary.

The things I don't have a backlog of are what matter, though. I don't have a backlog of information, thanks to the internet and my ability to find anything I want to know. There's no backlog of love due to my significant other of two years and friends I've had close to me for even longer. There's no backlog in beauty, seeing as I live in DC, which I consider one of the most beautiful cities and areas in this country, and that I plan to spend a week in Norway this summer, and that I am able to spend a week in Norway thanks to a lack of backups in technology of flight, medicine, and human rights.