/*
* find the important things in Life, the Universe, and Everything
* Michael J Shon <mjs@tropix.UUCP>
*/
typedef short some; /* some things are short */
typedef some very; /* some things are very short */
#define A /* The first letter of the English Alphabet */
#define LINE 2 /* 2 points define a line */
#define TRUTH BEAUTY /* truth is beauty */
#define BEAUTY 10 /* and beauty is a 10 */
#define bad char /* burnt on both sides */
#define old char /* the great Chicago Fire */
#define get strlen /* during your life, try to get some sterling */
#define youmake float /* you make it, I'll drink it */
#define yourgoals in terms you can understand
/*
#include "yourdreams" /* for the future */
/* everyone needs goals */
short term;
double yourpleasure();
double yourfun;
long Term, play(), agame;
/* everyone needs diversions */
old *joke = "Why did the chicken cross the road?\n\tTo get to the other side!\n\t\tWocka Wocka Wocka!\n";
tell(joke)
bad *joke; /* wait- you haven't heard it yet! */
{
short laugh; /* please */
laugh = get(joke);
write(1, joke, laugh); /* write it down- don't say it */
}
/* most folks like music */
long play(record)
long record;
{
very pleasant = TRUTH; /* if you like music */
while (record == pleasant)
play(record--);
return( pleasant ); /* music soothes the savage */
}
double yourpleasure(one, way) /* this is necessary if */
some one; /* is watching ,or if you have a */
long way; /* to go */
{
/* this can change one while maintaining one's identity */
one = one * one;
return( one ); /* after all, it should have at least doubled */
}
hold(temper) /* good advice */
A short temper; /* is a dangerous thing */
{
A long time; /* is what you need */
very calm; /* is how you should be */
calm = temper, temper;
while (calm--)
wait(&time);
return(calm); /* if possible */
}
/* now, on to the main thing */
main(thing, mustbe) /* to balance work, play, and goals */
some thing, mustbe; /* important, or we wouldn't be here */
{
long time(); /* know C */
very bored; /* the result of too few goals */
short hours; /* make */
long yourwork; /* which makes for */
short tempers; /* which can be improved by */
long laughing;
/* first, set priorities */
yourwork = 0;
yourfun = 1.0e+38;
if (yourpleasure( mustbe, yourwork ))
yourfun = yourwork;
else
yourfun = play( agame );
bored = yourfun - yourwork; /* nothing to do? */
/* reach out and touch someone! */
switch ( bored ) { /* connects all of this together */
default:
hours = hold(LINE); /* no way to avoid it, take a */
break;
}
/* take a music break */
while ( thing-- ) { /* you make my heart sing */
youmake everything;
very groovy;
}
/* focus on what is important to you */
while ( yourfun < 0 ) {
yourpleasure( mustbe, agame);
yourfun = play( agame );
}
tell(joke);
exit( laughing );
}
BEFOREHAND: close door, each window & exit; wait until time;
open spell book; study; read (spell, $scan, select); tell us;
write it, print the hex while each watches,
reverse length, write again;
kill spiders, pop them, chop, split, kill them.
unlink arms, shift, wait and listen (listening, wait).
sort the flock (then, warn "the goats", kill "the sheep");
kill them, dump qualms, shift moralities,
values aside, each one;
die sheep; die (to, reverse the => system
you accept (reject, respect));
next step,
kill next sacrifice, each sacrifice,
wait, redo ritual until "all the spirits are pleased";
do it ("as they say").
do it(*everyone***must***participate***in***forbidden**s*e*x*).
return last victim; package body;
exit crypt (time, times & "half a time") & close it.
select (quickly) and warn next victim;
AFTERWARDS: tell nobody.
wait, wait until time;
wait until next year, next decade;
sleep, sleep, die yourself,
die @last
/*
From kdq@netcom.com (Kevin D. Quitt)
Subject: ANSI obfuscated PI calculator
Date: Wed, 26 Jan 1994 15:58:21 GMT
Apropos of the earlier posting of the k&r version of the program:
*/
/* This should work for both, ANSI and non-ANSI */
/* gcc -pedantic likes it, lint complains loudly */
#define _ F-->00 || F-OO--;
long F=00,OO=00;
main(){F_OO();printf("%1.3f\n", 4.*-F/OO/OO);}F_OO()
{
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}
/*********
--
Walter Misar misar@rbg.informatik.th-darmstadt.de
--
#include <standard.disclaimer>
_
Kevin D Quitt 91351-4454 96.37% of all statistics are made up
**********/