My friend had this really fucked up thing happen to her, where her family in Iran tricked her into coming home because her father was sick. And when she arrived, she found out he's actually been dead for more than a month - they just hid it from her so she would not flunk her Pharmacy final exams. Her mom was texting her for weeks pretending to be her dad. Her older brother is inheriting the from my understanding successful family business and it's creating lots of drama and tension. Her older sister never truly found her place in Canada, is apparently a bit mentally unstable and was planning a permanent move to Iran pre-pandemic. So she just spent a few month there, trying to untangle some messes and grieving her father while helping her mom and sister find a new place to live. She's devastated she didn't get to attend her father's funeral, but says she understands her family for doing what they did, because it was out of love and protectiveness. I'd be PISSED, but there seems to be lots of cultural nuances about the concept of family, big sums of money at play and general drama that could explain it all. She's coming back to Montreal today, so I offered to pick her up from the airport. I think it's the first time ever I'm doing this alone - it was a weird moment in my head when I realized I can do that. It's so simple and easy, my parents and adults around me have been doing that since forever. So when I realized I had time and a car at my disposal, it clicked and I was surprised it's not something that's part of my reflexes already. I'm hoping to be there for my friend in any way I can be.
My sister was studying abroad when my grandfather died. She was in Spain. My parents did not let her know I told she finished the semester. We all went to visit her after the semester for a week or so and one day they pulled her aside and let her know. It happened in March she missed the funeral and all of that stuff. The other grandmother years earlier had breast cancer and needed surgery. This was before my sister and I existed. My parents were on a trip to London. That grandmother did not tell my parents about her surgery until they got back so if anything bad happened they could enjoy their trip without worrying. That grandmother made it through and died of a different cancer like 25 years later. I'm a little torn but I think that ultimately I'd want to know and would be annoyed if that had been held from me. Like I can see the logic of it, but exams and trips can be rescheduled but you can't say goodbye to someone after they're gone.