I gave a speech at a church on Sunday. I knew it was that bad because everyone seemed to love it. I've never had any problems with public speaking - and have been commended for it in the past - but addressing the church crowd is one way to give you the nerves. Especially when you're trying not to cross any lines. At one point I had included the statement "started making absurd claims like I had invented the fax machine." Of course, what I was really trying to get at was with all the bullstuff going on in life I was able to remain hopeful and optimistic. But the kidz (younger adults) seemed to enjoy it.
The bishop told me there was a problem with my speech, which scared the daylights out of me because I was under the impression I had perverted fundamental doctrine in this cult and was going to be excommunicated. Turns out the case was that I hadn't mentioned the old high school I attended (he went to the same place).
I've been out of high school for about 6 years now and I barely even remember it anymore. Aaahh, the days when it was easy to be thought of as smart while putting in minimal effort. I can't mention that! I was a drug dealer in that school! I'm not contributing to fundamental legacy! I live hundreds of miles from that place! We were barely old enough to drive and we were trading 100% Swiss Needlepoint in the washroom for the ADHD kid's Adderall like it was fricking Yu-Gi-Oh cards. You know, the kind that makes your friend's hippie dad (the one that lets his kids smoke weed in the house) say "THAT'S NOT REAL." Well guess what, it was real, and you fried your brain 30 fricking years ago. We were punks, not hippies.
Anyhow, I'm trying to go easy. The toxic chemicals and explosions in the city I'm in are enough to deal with and I can say without a shadow of a doubt that the persistent viral load around here has dropped everyone (including myself) about 20 IQ points. If I can stay focused on something longer than about ten minutes that's a victory in my books.