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comment by Quatrarius
Quatrarius  ·  535 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: A dash of cold water for Christian anarchism

i've had a lot of misery in my life and somewhere in the middle of it i tripped over god without realizing it: i was never raised religious and until i started interacting with the academic side of christianity i never thought about it consciously, but i started to do a lot of reading on the early church and christ as a historical figure and it helped me understand how i felt about myself and the kind of future i want to live out - this is one of a lot of articles/books in that reading

i get caught up in my head a lot and fritter away time, but there's something that makes me feel like i snapped out of a daze and focuses me and makes me aware of my thoughts

i don't want to seem silly or crazy, but i've had similar moments in the past in a non-religious context and i think i've talked about some on hubski (shoveling snow?) and i believe there's some kind of peace or centering force inside me that i reach sometimes, so maybe that's god

when i type it out it sounds pretty crazy now that i think about it, but it's the truth, and crazy or not i think it's important





kleinbl00  ·  534 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    i believe there's some kind of peace or centering force inside me that i reach sometimes, so maybe that's god

If it isn't, it should be.

user-inactivated  ·  535 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I don't want you to feel compelled to share anything you're not comfortable, so I'll just keep this super surface level. If you're really open to talking about it, either on here or in PM, I'm totally open to it and all ears.

    when i type it out it sounds pretty crazy now that i think about it, but it's the truth, and crazy or not i think it's important

It doesn't sound crazy at all. I had a similar, yet still different trajectory, which I'll save you the story of. Suffice to say, life's a mess and sometimes I think that's part of the point.

    but i started to do a lot of reading on the early church and christ as a historical figure and it helped me understand how i felt about myself and the kind of future i want to live out

I get this a lot, actually. I read religious texts a lot and I find them to be kind of a mirror that I can hold up against myself and ask really hard questions about who I think I am, who I really am, who I think I want to be, and who I really should be. Sometimes it's discouraging, because I feel like I fall short so often, but more often than not, it feels hopeful and encouraging, like I know I have room to grow and it's a struggle, but it's achievable and important.