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comment by elizabeth
elizabeth  ·  1359 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: July 8, 2020

It's my birthday this weekend! Will be going off in the woods with a few friends for a little time out of the city. Since I'll still be on antibiotics for my wisdom teeth extraction and had a rough couple weeks(years?) in my relationship, I'm considering taking it very easy substance wise.

The consent conversation has started on our Board and the tension around the subject is palpable. It's hard to have conversations with people that preface the subject by "i'm a survivor", have thought about the subject a lot and have strong opinions on how to do things and best practices. By hard - I don't mean that they don't listen but that I feel a big gap in understanding and emotional involvement we need to bridge. They say "we need to enact policies" and are very eager to move forward. (Maybe?) because certain things just feel obvious to them. And when I answer that I'm not informed and not comfortable taking decisions for a community without more conversations with more people first, I feel it hurts them. Like I'm dismissive of their experience, when what I actually want is include more people in the conversation. Top down policies by what is essentially a vanity Board is the best way to make a community feel powerless - even if the policies are sensible. And making people feel powerless about consent is a powderkeg. Besides, this shit if hard for everyone and having this on the forefront of my mind is not easy. Doing it over zoom is also not the best because you lose a lot of humanity in the process.





goobster  ·  1358 days ago  ·  link  ·  

That's some hard work, right there. My community didn't survive it. I wish yours the best.

But, there is no way for everyone to be happy, in the end. "Free spirits" will need to constrain their behavior because they will be made aware of how it has hurt others. People that have been hurt will not feel you have done enough, and will claim your spaces are no longer "safe for them" and split off to form a new group or abandon the community entirely.

And, in the end, it will all come down to enforcement. It will still fall to the event producers to enforce any policies put in place, and be the "bad guys" and "bummers" that have "killed what used to be a great event".

And everyone will turn to the Rangers and ask them why they didn't do more to stop these bad behaviors before, and the Rangers will do what they have been trained to do: stand back and observe. And that'll leave nobody happy.

That's the problem with Radical Self-Reliance. People suck at it. People don't protect themselves from the dangers of everyday life, because they think they are in a "safe space" (which doesn't exist, in reality), and then blame the organizers/producers for their injuries.

And all us Jaded Fucks and old DPW crew stand back with our arms crossed, warm beer in hand, and say, "Read the back of your ticket."

I wish you luck.

elizabeth  ·  1358 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Thank you! I see from afar neighbouring community imploding on the matter right now - trying to avoid the pitfalls over here. My personal feelings on the matter are quite scattered right now. We're not the event producers, we're the board (that has been mostly a formality until not too long ago). So my qualms with the process is who the fuck are we to decide on policies that we then push onto producers to enforce - and let them be the bad guys. If I needed to be the bad guy, I'd rather be the bad guy on my own terms. Consent is important, we have our part to play in this as the board - but when I push back on how much of it is OUR part to play I think i look uncooperative? When from my point of view, I'm trying to find a way to handle this that doesn't accomplish anything beyond causing backlash. Suggestions like mandatory consent training for camp leads from a board 95% of people don't know even exists make me angry.

And holy fuck if the way my "experienced ranger" partner handled a harassment complaint didn't make me question the usefulness of the department on matters beyond first responding. Buddy didn't even want to write an incident report because he felt it wasn't too important. I have such a love-hate relationship with rangering... the work can be cool, but also too many self important mansplainers and corporate ladder climbers.

Thank god for the Pubski where I can vent my edge case community frustrations :) And your perspective's always a cool way to look at things, I appreciate it.