been catching myself feeling optimistic / excited for political happenings for the first time since my hope died in 2016. i feel like i'm setting myself up to be disappointed - i've found that betting on the thing i least want to happen happening has been a good rule of thumb
i'm gonna make everybody feel really old for a minute here: i was 9 years old when obama got elected for the first time - my mom was a big political newswatcher and i followed the campaign pretty hard for a preteen. my earliest political memory was when i was 5 i named my teddy bear george bush bc he was green (i can't remember if i told that story already here but i'll tell it again because i find it really sadfunny), but the obam-paign was the first time i started using the ol' brainhole and trying to keep up, even though i was ignorant and childish or whatever
but anyway i remember election night 2008 thinking smth along the lines of "yeah, something good just happened. the good guys won." awesome. it's been downhill since, with a little bright spot in 2012 - everything i've seen / the more i've learned about what's gone/been going/will be going on the more i've been disillusioned, and sure, that's just a matter of growing up too, but it's been a hell of a time to grow up in when the news of the day everyday is "things are falling apart and you have no future"
and i mean, boo-hoo, right, nobody's had a future / believed in anything since XYZ decade, but i don't know anybody with dreams more than "a job that won't work me to death" and "an apartment that doesn't cost too much to rent," so i guess when you get 3 generations fucked over in a row the kids stop coming in with big expectations
but catch me feeling optimistic. why? i don't like taking the bet that the downward slide is gonna level out - i'm not enough of a gambler to say that we're due for some good luck
i'm scared as hell hubski - all i want to do when i look at the world is tap out and tapping out (to the best of my ability) is all i've got for what-to-do-with-my-life desires. i've been too fucked up to make plans for the future but now that my head isn't fucking with me too much to think clear it's like, alright where won't be on fire or underwater in 30 years, where is it most likely i can pay for the meds i need every day, where's the best spot to not get raped or murdered - CoastalEscape! is a hell of a lot easier when you come in with CoastalCash! and anything notcity is either reverting to wasteland or honky-hellscape so it's like, どうしようもない boys
i tapped out after 2016 - my life sucked, america looked like it sucked, who cares - when i could vote i voted in the dem primaries in 2018 and the midterm, but other than that i avoided the horserace shit
now for the last 2 weeks or so i've been paying attention to the horserace again, and tonight i realized i was looking forward to seeing the iowa results in a week but also not? because the don't-get-excited part of me says 1. biden will win and 2. trump will lose pop.vote but win EC again so i'm half "wow things might actually be better this time" and half "どうしようもない just tap out again and vote when the mitten primary comes around + nov3" and i don't know what half is the one to follow
i don't want a resurgence in personal optimism to get fucked over by a resurgent "the world will be okay" optimism that gets kicked in the nuts
i don't have a conclusion
I hear ya, and those thoughts are not unfamiliar to me. But I was having them in the 1980's, when Reagan was elected. He was HORRIFIC. A complete fucking muppet, owned by his handlers, and without a single idea in his empty actor head. He was the ultimate embodiment of everything that was wrong with America, because he was - literally - acting the role of President. But hey, we also invented the internet and build the International Space Station, and cocaine became uncool again, and Elon Musk gave us all hope - and delivered! - and the water and air got better, and many species were brought back from the edge of extinction. And here we are today. I speculate that where you are in your life is the same place most everybody is at your point in life: You watched your parents drive a car and it seemed like the most magical thing ever, and then you learned how to drive, and slid off the road in the snow once, and now you are basically a good driver, and now you wonder about your tire tread depth and brake condition and you know you should get the car washed to save the paint job and get an oil change but you are gonna do it next week and what is that smell under the back seat? you really should take a look at that, but ... Life gets more complex and nuanced as we get older. At around 30, people become fully present and aware of their surroundings and the world they live in, and the rose tinted glasses of youth finally come off. And shit is fucked. Because you know what? EVERYONE older than 30 knows that's exactly the age where you become an effective tool for them to use. Anyone younger is too flighty or idealistic, and doesn't have any money. Once people hit 30 or so, their frustrations with the lack-of-perfection in the world can be leveraged. And now we have social media, to throw that into hyperdrive, and make this entire demographic despondent... so they don't exercise the power they have. The Russian social media campaign that was so effective? It wasn't to elect Trump; they didn't give a fuck who won. They just wanted to make sure the loser - no matter which side lost - perceived that it was the democratic system of government that had failed. And think honestly about what you think about our government, the Electoral College, gerrymandering, PACs, Citizen's United, Mar a Lago, etc.... See? The Russians won. They WANT you despondent. They WANT you to tap out. They WANT you to be on social media constantly consuming the bullshit. What they DON'T want, is you to be talking to people at your local coffee shop, or hardware store, or volunteering to do a park cleanup, and going on vacation to one of our incredible national parks... because when you do that, you realize that The News is not valuable or relevant, and - in actual fact - Trump has been entirely ineffective. What in your life has changed since the orange shitgibbon took office? Can you still vote? Can you still own a gun? Can you still get your meds? Is gas a reasonable price? Has the cost of milk gone up to $20 per carton? Are the shelves at the grocery store bare? Has Ikea stopped selling furniture? Is Elon Musk still building promises in the sky? Are there animals in our forests? We love you Q. You are a fantastic and thoughtful member of this community, and your posts and genuine nature are always a good read. You give me hope for the future, just by being you. And being YOU is the most rebellious thing you can do today.
Had a similar thought today, thinking about all the angry people in my life. We're so used today, to feeling angry first and then finding reasons why we should feel angry (and granted, there are reasons), that we've forgotten how important it is to create reasons to be happy and hopeful. It's easy to have your strings pulled and your buttons pushed when you're discontent. But when you have a sense of hope and control in your life? Man, it's a powerful firewall.
The wiring of our minds and the knowledge of how to make certain chemicals fire in the human's brain, are dangerous knowledge held in the hands of people with no moral compass or understanding of what they are doing. Just push the button, the subject smiles, move on to the next one... no thought for the human toll of what all that button-pushing is doing. Maybe some day in the future the like button will be outlawed because of its unfair triggering of our uncontrollable brain chemistry. You'll have to type out three sentences about WHY you like this post, and provide evidence. Carpal tunnel will skyrocket. sadjoke sigh
Don't tap out. We need you, Q. And I personally require your sensibilities; not enough memers around here. But I feel you 100% when it comes to feeling like "things are falling apart and you have no future". My wife and I are more or less completely disinclined to have children because of how we perceive the world's current state of affairs. Vote with me. I think and hope it's gonna be Sanders. Warren and Yang are in my "tier 2". If it's Biden or someone else, lamesauce, but whatever, Trump has to go. Basically any not-Trump gets my vote, because they're gonna need it after he tries to rig the election, and then delegitimizes the results if he loses. Nurse your optimism. And then, if you have a surplus, send me some.