Dear Hubski, how do you deal with nostalgia? Especially the haunting kind that comes at two in the morning where all of a sudden you remember things you hadn't thought of in years.
You build a better future. Nostalgia is an exercise in reflection: you are putting "where you were" in the perspective of "where you are" and reconsidering your regard for past events. Nostalgia is a pain in the ass when you have no good options: I am currently nostalgic for an era when I could buy fucking Kirin Light at the local grocery store because now my choices are basically IPA, Zima and wine coolers. Nostalgia is much less deadly when you have choices: I spent much of my 20s lamenting my inability to read signals in my teenage years because there's a whole lotta tail I coulda tapped and that would have made my life infinitely better. But I've been with a girl for 17 years who still wears size 2 pants, who still looks bangin' in a bikini and still hasn't figured out she's punching well below her weight. You're in a shitty place right now, homey. You were going to change the world and now you're not. Or so you think. Nostalgia for you is a wistful exercise in what you were. Because you're unsatisfied with what you are, it's a net loss. The best way forward is to focus on what you're going to be.
Seems that you are defining 'nostalgia' as a bad thing, if it is something you have to "deal with." You know it doesn't have to be? Recalling good times, good memories, does not have to be juxtaposed against whatever situation you are in today that is perceived to be less wonderful... you can just enjoy the memory... enjoy the feeling of being back in that time ... and then let it go. Then come back to the present, and be present, rather than comparing uncomparable things, like who you were back then with who you are now.
No, but nostalgia can have different definitions. Merriam-Webster defines it in a partially negative light. I meant in the Gatsby sense, you beat on against the current. Do I want to relive my childhood? Hell fuckin' naw. But even when life is good now I can't help but feel... bored. It's like nothing really gets my blood racing anymore. The frontiers have been conquered. I've laid it all to rest. But then all of a sudden I hear a track from my friend's band almost a decade ago all the emotions come flooding back and it's too much to bear. I'm not sad it's over, I'm glad it happened but it's that feeling of having gained and lost some infinite thing.
Gotcha. I see what you are saying. You know, kleinbl00 has commented a couple of times with numerous studies that say, basically, whatever you were listening to, eating, enjoying when you were about 18-23, is what you will ALWAYS think of as "good" for the rest of your life. Now I'm in my 50s, I think back to those years - 1987-1993 - and realizing how true this is. Mine also extends a little earlier, probably back to 1983 or so, because I grew up with a group of guys who were about 3 years older than me. So I was far more in that demographic, and had very little in common with people exactly my age. I still think that you can decide that "nostalgia" is a good thing... embrace it for what it is: a biomechanical/societal programming that incentivizes you to see one particular phase of your development as superior over others. So you can look at that, marvel at the complexity of the human organism, and also know that it isn't necessarily "true", either. I'm not calling you wrong, or anything... just wanting to give you another way to view nostalgia as a positive thing, and not a condemnation of your current place or accomplishments or phase in life. <insert heart emoji here>
It depends. There are some things that I can be reminiscent about but never revisit, like memories of time spent with family and such. Other things are much easier to visit, whether it's watching people on YouTube talk about and play video games I used to love, reading articles about old technology and toys and such, rewatching movies and TV shows, rereading old books, etc. One of the nicer things the internet has brought us is the ability to revisit moments of our past. Oddly enough, I used to really enjoy antiquing, and while my time and money and attention is spent elsewhere these days, I loved how it gave me a sense of nostalgia for a time I wasn't even alive to experience myself.