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- Robert Southey posed the eternal question “What Are Little Boys Made Of?” back in the nineteenth century. By the late twentieth century the unenlightened answer of “slugs and snails and puppy dog tails” was outmoded, and everyone knew that boys were actually made of “slugs and snails and being discouraged from expressing any emotion other than anger as manifested through tiny plastic munitions.” In case the disgruntled reader is already composing an email decrying my cherry-picking of adorable wee tactical defense systems to contrast with the sugar and spice dream domiciles marketed to girls, I tried. I really did. But just as there aren’t many My Little Pony Dream nuclear launch facilities, so too is there a dearth of G.I. Joe thatched cottages, complete with functional bird baths. I did find a castle, though. I wonder if it will come with a mirror? Let’s find out: