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comment by tacocat
tacocat  ·  361 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Everything You Know About Obesity is Wrong

Where are you encountering it?




OftenBen  ·  361 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I've dealt with it a few times at work. Usually an obese set of parents who blame the obesity of a child on 'genetics' and not the fact that she is guzzling Fanta from a sippy cup. Thankfully I'm not the doc, but I have been in the room for these conversations.

Also everywhere on the internet.

_refugee_  ·  360 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I’ve witnessed personally obese children raised by obese parents. It’s very clear to see these children become doomed to so much (not just high weight but bullying, poor self esteem, ignorance etc etc) when raised by two people who are obese, don’t plan on losing the weight, and don’t talk about it. I found it incredibly sad. At the same time, i found it disgusting and unconscionable behavior on the side of the parents.

kleinbl00  ·  359 days ago  ·  link  ·  

You have to keep in mind that you're looking at two thinking, feeling adults that have capitulated in their struggle to conform to social norms. I know it's hip to pretend that fat people enjoy sweating when they go up a flight of stairs and having to sprinkle Gold Bond in their crevices to forestall dermal yeast infections but fundamentally we're talking about people who have given up on normalcy. They have, as a consequence, adapted to other coping strategies to live their lives to their own best abilities.

They teach their children these strategies not because their behavior is "disgusting and unconscionable" but because it is the culmination of their life experience. They concluded at some point that their children would live as they do, much to their heartbreak, and so they are propagating the wisdom of the tribe.

Mt sister's kids look like a Gap ad. They're impossibly thin. My own daughter will, if she's lucky, be built like Lucy Lawless. She's five but I already know that I will raise her to be her, not my sister's kids.

Don't make me tell the story of the bamboo skewer.

_refugee_  ·  359 days ago  ·  link  ·  

My assumption is basically that they live like that and raise their children like that because a) they don't know better (about nutrition/eating properly), b) they don't care/don't have the energy to tackle the problem. Some combination of the above.

I'm sure they had a lot of other things going on in their lives too. As someone who doesn't have kids, I feel like the timesuck of having multiple children and raising them "well" in all the other vectors a person might possibly want to raise their children well in - quite reasonably reduces the amount of time and energy a parent can direct towards self-improvement. Or changing what's always worked for them. Or teaching their children an entirely different lifestyle from what the parents know and live. It'd require a re-self-education and then application and re-teaching of that new knowledge to 1, 2, however many children. And even if you can change the lifestyle, the kids already absorbed what life was like before the change for however long that was.

I just felt really bad for the younger kid. who was obese at like 10.

Sure, sometimes people seem to raise perfect kids, but for the most part I think it's impossible. You can raise your kids as best as you can and that's about it. Even just a blind spot in the 'wrong' vector -- any possibly significant vector, which is like almost all of them -- can leave a kid vulnerable or disadvantaged. Guess what! That's being human for ya.

I don't know any adults who are perfect (in my life, anyway). Why expect parents to produce children who excel in every way and are in control of and smart about all their choices, when the parents aren't like that and also no one in society really expects that of them?

kleinbl00  ·  359 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Your a/b is actually an a/b/c; don't know better/don't care/ don't have the energy might all be of a kind at first glance but it's a can't/won't/can't.

It's not a can't/can't/can't.

And that, right there, is the fundamental issue - externally, everyone here is arguing that fat people are fat because they can't or won't change (same diff) while internally, fat people are 100% all the time at "can't" or, more accurately, "have tried fucking everything and who the fuck do you think you are implying my can't is a won't".

And the answer is always some form of "someone calling you fat, fatty, what the fuck are you going to do about it."

Above, you're basically saying "these people can't or won't take care of their children." And while you might get agreement on "can't" (be it grudging, despairing or defiant), you will never ever ever convince someone they won't take care of their kids.

Especially when you're arguing that allowing them to look like their parents is child abuse.

kleinbl00  ·  359 days ago  ·  link  ·  
This comment has been deleted.
tacocat  ·  361 days ago  ·  link  ·  

How does the only actual instance you mention impact your life? Are fat children harming you? Is scientific ignorance of these parents directory impacting your life?

I'm deeply sympathetic to you for having to read the opinions of idiots on the internet in the second example

OftenBen  ·  360 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    How does the only actual instance you mention impact your life?

It makes my work and the work of every other medical professional vastly more difficult. It causes direct physical harm for some. It causes the patient distress when we have to use giant needles to get venous access. As one example.

The frequent flyers in cardiac wards I described earlier fill up the limited time of specialists with bullshit. Those who add on blatant science denialism add hours of fighting and stress to already packed schedules.

    Are fat children harming you?

I find child abuse distasteful, sue me. I was a fat kid and I get to watch the same cycle repeat itself. I also get riled up when I see someone kick a dog. Does that make me a snowflake? For not being 'tolerant' of alternative parenting styles?

    Is scientific ignorance of these parents directory impacting your life?

There is a non-zero number of cases where obesity related illness has directly led to the death of one or more parents, leaving a child or children orphaned. That's reason enough to oppose science denialism. Stopping kids from growing up fat and sick is reason enough.

tacocat  ·  360 days ago  ·  link  ·  

You already said fat acceptance is not being an asshole. That's on you buddy. This comment I'm responding to is a very detailed defense of a right to be an asshole

OftenBen  ·  360 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Whoops.

Forgot to mention that I slap the candy out of children's hands and cackle while twirling my mustache.

You asked how science-denying 'fat acceptance' affects me. I told you how.