a thoughtful web.
Good ideas and conversation. No ads, no tracking.   Login or Take a Tour!
comment by OftenBen
OftenBen  ·  2043 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: September 19, 2018

When I look at social institutions like marriage, weddings, etc. all I see is crumbling roman ruins.

It seems as though we have to create our own meaningful events and ceremonies, cut and paste traditions like arts and crafts. Engagements are not typically very long in our culture- I intend for mine to last the better part of a decade, if not more.

Create your own meaning bruh. That's the beauty of it, we get to decide.





goobster  ·  2043 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Yup. That was what I thought at that age, too.

Then I impulsively proposed to my girlfriend, and we were married for seven years.

Then I almost got married again.

Then I did get married again.

Once you pull your head out of the "I'm sticking it to the MAN, man!" mindset, you realize it has nothing to do with the government, and everything to do with the person you love.

ButterflyEffect  ·  2043 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Huh, I don't view it that way as an institutional sticking it to the man. To me, it's just another day. I saw the two get married, and kept thinking that they were the same people yesterday as they'll be tomorrow. But then, that's how I feel about birthdays and most other things, too.

kleinbl00  ·  2043 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    It seems as though we have to create our own meaningful events and ceremonies, cut and paste traditions like arts and crafts.

The trick is in getting everyone else to agree to the meaning of your own events and ceremonies. This is the fundamental value of traditions: they are cultural shorthand that allows strangers and acquaintances to place you in the social order without endless quizzing and interrogation. That's why the 'thumpers lose their fucking minds over gay marriage - "adam and eve not adam and steve" is the panicked howl of custom being slain by progress.

OftenBen  ·  2043 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    The trick is in getting everyone else to agree to the meaning of your own events and ceremonies.

Simple. Invite them. They show or don't.

kleinbl00  ·  2043 days ago  ·  link  ·  

"Everyone else" includes tax officials, loan officers, guys in line at the movie theater, and anyone attempting to sell you a couch. Your friends and family know what the fuck is between you and your RPS. The guy at Best Buy trying to sell you a laptop has no fucking clue unless she's wearing a ring.

OftenBen  ·  2043 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    The guy at Best Buy trying to sell you a laptop has no fucking clue unless she's wearing a ring.

Fixed, haha. Rose gold is pretty.

I get your point.