I didn't even like it as a kid
Same, actually. That must be a thing. Now I'm a sucker for a thick slice of fresh tomato on a thin spread of mayo on toast. FWIW, if it really does somehow go under (given kleinbl00's comment, unlikely) you could always make it yourself. It's just eggs, oil and vinegar after all.
if they're all sad reflections on aging
tbh I've yet to see one that isn't. This one does get props for being self-aware, at least.