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comment by tacocat

Humility is an ever present topic in AA, which I'll note is a Christian organization despite what anyone in it wants to argue.

Yes, humility is great and necessary. But this whole discussion is about a balancing act between how you want to act and how you want to be perceived and what amount of compromise you're willing to accept because you can't control the perception of everyone. If you always defer potential conflict to seem humble because of your conception of God then you can end up rendering to Caesar the right to be a tyrant. Or accepting bad behavior by your fellowship because God's plan, free will, we're all sinners

I'm indirectly describing a medical treatment that insurance pays for. And Jeff Sessions at the same time




user-inactivated  ·  134 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    If you always defer potential conflict to seem humble

It sounds like you're saying a person can't be assertive and confident if they're humble. I don't really think that's the case.

I didn't want to give my perspective on the question I asked, because I want to see how other people interpret the question and the answers they give without my influencing them. But between you and me (and obviously anyone else reading this), I think if I were to give an answer to my own question the what defines distinguishes one type of person from the other is whether or not they're self centered and whether or not they exercise complimentary virtues such as compassion and wisdom.

If a person is dignified and compassionate, their compassion helps them to interact with others without looking down on them or otherwise mistreating them. If a person is confident and wise, they're able to recognize and compensate for their own short comings as well realize they don't always have the ability to handle every situation that comes their way.

I don't think any of these four attributes, dignity, confidence, compassion, and wisdom, when exercised, means a person can't be assertive nor does it prevent them from helping those in need or trying to rectify the injustices of the world. They may behave differently than you would expect someone to behave in certain situations, but that doesn't necessarily mean they're capitulating at the first sign of resistance or hardship.

tacocat  ·  134 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I'm not saying that. I'm saying that's the interpretation some people choose when they try to be humble. You can be humble but assertive and that involves picking your battles, not constantly saying live and let live. The last part is some shit I've had rammed down my throat for almost two years by an army of hypocrites. If that helps explain my responses here.

user-inactivated  ·  134 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Ah. Gotcha. Thank you for the clarification.

In that particular situation, I agree with you. It's probably easy for some of us to backslide from humility to self deprecation if we're not careful.

tacocat  ·  134 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I see it more as complete fecklessness of morals if you want to ignore the actions of a rapist because "he's sick too."