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comment by Cumol
Cumol  ·  651 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Paralyzed.

We didn't have an earlier chance to find out she is pregnant, which is why she is in the 6th week. As described, you have to go through a procedure before you get an abortion and that will take 2-3 weeks...

It is hard for me to accept that he decision is not rational. What changed? We used contraceptives, we took the pill after, all of those measures to not make a pregnancy happen. And then it did, what is different? We both still don't want children, why is she going for it?

This is what I am trying to understand

oyster  ·  651 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I personally don’t want a child now, but I’m not pregnant. I’ve got a friend who’s now-ex told him when they started having sex that she would be fine with an abortion, I laughed and said that was stupid. Anybody who claims they know what they would do in a situation they’ve never been in lacks self-awareness.

Preventing pregnancy is different from terminating pregnancy. She is living every second of every day knowing something is inside of her that could become a person. I’m guessing emotions aren’t your strong point, but have you ever lost somebody ? And then thought at a later date what they would be like now ? Or what holidays would be like with them ?

She’s 6 weeks and she can’t exactly pause things. There is a human growing inside her and she needs to deal with that. You might feel like she’s moving forward without you and that’s because she probably is. What you’re wrong about is that it has anything to do with how she feels towards you. It has to do with how there is a human growing inside her and she needs to deal with that. Do you enjoy winging life ? Do you like to not know which direction your life is going ? Now try and picture how much you would hate doing that with a human growing inside you. Too add, all of this is perfectly rational. Her life took a turn, she has considered her option, she’s even spoken to friends to see what type of support she would receive and if it would work. You’re both being emotional about this, her emotions not aligning with yours doesn’t make them irrational.