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comment by humanodon
humanodon  ·  340 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Paralyzed.

Hey there,

I understand that this is a complicated situation. I won't pretend to understand all of what you're going through, but I will say that I've confronted the question of abortion. Unfortunately, more than once. All I can say is, each time I made it very clear that if she were to have the child that I would do my best to be the father that the child deserves. On the other hand, on each occasion I also made it very clear that I was nowhere near the man that I needed to be in order to be that father. I think that those conversations were well-received because I didn't put the focus on myself or my well-being, but on the future that the child might have. To be honest, I still wonder sometimes how my life might look if things had been different. Either way, I know that each time the woman was agonizing as much as I was and I think that in sharing my worries and by hearing what she had to say that we were able to find a way forward that worked for us. I think that in the end, the best that you can do for yourself is to do the best that you can by her. Life is long and weird, and strange. There are plenty of questions that we can't know the answer to until much later. As you're only human, be as human as you can. Maybe there will be opportunities for better outcomes as the situation emerges, but that's only possible if you're able to engage in the situation together. I don't mean that you should stay together, just that the lines of communication stay open. Anyway, I wish you the best man, that's a rough road ahead.