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comment by WanderingEng
WanderingEng  ·  383 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Americans Are A Lonely Lot, And Young People Bear The Heaviest Burden

And if you don't have friends or family to do things with, go anyway. Go be around people. Pick something and go do it.

I'm probably lonely, but it doesn't seem to strongly affect me. The world doesn't seem so lonely when you participate in it. When I cycle I often do a loop that takes me through downtown, even though it's busier and therefore annoying. It's just nice to see the crowds of people enjoying themselves. Ditto running.

francopoli  ·  382 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I have two hard science hobbies that put me around two very different groups of people; I attend a few events a month. I do one "professional" level event a quarter and should probably increase that. I'm starting to be convinced that most people complaining of 'social anxiety' are just set in a sedentary mindset and need to get out of that comfort zone and make a new habit of being around people. (And yes, there are people with a real medical issue and they need help, but they are rare.)

It is easy to sit at home and do... nothing? That is not the correct word. Absorb passive entertainment is what I am thinking of, but there has to be a better word. There are a lot of people out there, and I am one, that need to work hard to change personal habits. Once I get into that easy slide of go home open a book and notice that it is 0100 I have to fight and get out and do something more productive. Everyone does. Reading threads like this makes me understand Jordan Peterson's fame and not dismiss it like I did when he first came out onto the scene.

My dad would have called these 'kids' lazy. That also is not the correct word. An object at rest will stay at rest until acted upon by an external force. That external force is you and your will. Nobody is going to swoop in and rescue you, you are not going to win the lottery, and you won't get a better job unless you get out and make contacts and interact with people outside of the internet. Just like I have to really force my brain to want to exercise and eat right, just like I have to force myself to stick to a sleep schedule, so do most people have to work on those positive habits that get them out of the house and face to face with people. and it don't really cost that much, hell some of the things I mentioned are free. Get a library card and hang out in the local branch. Go to an author forum. Planet Fitness is a bad gym, but it is also $10 a month. Start working out and exercising, and in 3-4 months you will notice the same people there when you go. Once you are in the motion of going to the gym, start saying hello to people.

    And if you don't have friends or family to do things with, go anyway. Go be around people. Pick something and go do it.

Or so what you said in fewer words.

    The world doesn't seem so lonely when you participate in it.

Bingo. This is the root of the issue. Go read the "twoXchromosones" subreddit and look at the issues some of those people are complaining about, as an example. The ones saying their lives suck don't do anything. This was the deal with the incel subreddit as well. "Women hate me." Ok, dude, what do you do. Nothing. And then they get made when you tell them to suck it up and start doing shit.

I live alone, but am not lonely. I have hobbies that sometimes involve me to be by myself for most of the day, yet I also interact with people regularly. I have a better thought here, I really do, but in the process of typing this reply I lost it. drats.