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comment by tacocat
tacocat  ·  2346 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: October 25, 2017

My now ex girlfriend keeps finding reasons to contact me. It kinda ruins my day because it has a tendency to make me cry in public no matter the subject.

I let her know how bad she hurt me the other day. There was anger and sobbing and weeping. It was a bad night. And I didn't sleep so it was a bad Tuesday also but at least I didn't have to work.

I slept for about ten hours last night which was apparently not enough.

Apparently depression can cause body aches which I didn’t know but is a fun fact. Or a fact anyway...





Isherwood  ·  2345 days ago  ·  link  ·  

When I get in my depressive bouts I want to sleep all the time, I guess because it's easier to shut down. The only thing that really helped me at the time was running. I'm not a runner, I don't run any more, and I never really liked running - but I struck this bargain with myself: I could feel as bad as I needed for as long as I wanted, as long as I ran this mile loop once a day. It got to the point where I just needed to run every day.

I don't know if that's helpful, but in my experience it was that one little obligation that saved me.

tacocat  ·  2345 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I want to sleep all the time and I do because I start drinking when I wake up.

Isherwood  ·  2345 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Is therapy an option? I don't know if it has a stigma in your life, but it was helpful for me.

Also, I get the urge to drink and I know that can be a hard fight. Have you thought about a group like AA?

I don't know your situation or what you've tried before but try running when you wake up. I mean, if you're drinking when you wake up you're already putting your body through the ringer. If you want to forget just push yourself to run until you throw up (very doable). If you want a distraction, try to focus on your breathing.

Don't set a goal to run x miles or for y minutes or anything else - start with the basics and set a goal to get out and run. Just get out of your bed, get out of your house, and run.

Don't set a goal to stop drinking, to stop thinking, to stop communications - do whatever, I don't care - just set a goal to get out of your house once a day and run.

tacocat  ·  2345 days ago  ·  link  ·  

AA is folk medicine bullshit. I go to a lot of meetings and it's mostly garbage. I'm on step 10 and 1-9 made me feel shitty and I can't complain because I'll just be told I did it wrong. I'm trying to get through so I can help people using my critical thinking skills instead of cult tactics and guilt.

I haven't been drinking and I'm trying to get into counseling but it's slow and frustrating.

Staying hammered is my historical strategy and it's very effective until you have to be sober or otherwise deal with another human.

oyster  ·  2345 days ago  ·  link  ·  

My ex hated AA as well, he had other group therapy sessions through the military which he did actually like though. Are there any other options for you out there currently or is it all AA ?

tacocat  ·  2345 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Not really. I'm in a sober living that requires 12 step for me now. But I found a dual diagnosis recovery group I can go to

lil  ·  2345 days ago  ·  link  ·  

It's hard when someone breaks up with you and keeps calling you.

I went through all the poetry.

but have been away from the keyboard and texting is too hard.

but I think about this and always glad when you post.

tacocat  ·  2345 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I did go ahead and submit to a journal of some kind.

I kinda went on what you said in another thread and instinct

veen  ·  2345 days ago  ·  link  ·  

In case you didn't know already, there are a lot of methods nowadays to block people from contacting you by text/fb/etc where you won't even know they sent something. If someone only hurts you it's the right thing to do I think.

tacocat  ·  2345 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I blocked her on the phone so she emailed me and I took the bait. I wasn’t going to block her for good , just the night

Whatever. It’s done