Well I'm not trying to give you a motivational speech here, but any sort of public speaking or performance in front of a crowd is pretty complicated and a difficult thing to master. I'm just saying that you clearly love speaking about these subjects that you love to study, and if one failure-- one which you still have not gotten a clear explanation for-- is going to make you take a break, then it seems like you're betraying your commitments to these things.

I played piano for 12 years and ended up playing at some really big stages more than once. After a shitty, shitty performance I wanted nothing more than to have nothing to do with the piano for a while, but my mom made me watch the recordings which I fucking hated doing. I ended up glad that I had these recordings to be able to proactively assess my performance instead of wallowing in the failure.

Not trying to push you in any way, just pointing out that you're doing something really really cool, which makes me pretty jealous as someone who loves physics but is mediocre at it, and you may be taking a setback a little too harshly here.