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comment by veen
veen  ·  2559 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: New AHOY Video!! The Rocket Launcher

Nothing personal francopoli, but I kind of hate videos like this. Ahoy's chanel in particular looks to me like someone took a few days to learn Adobe After Effects and went to town with it. It's all fancy transitions with just some surface level insights and everyone thinks it's amazing. I mean, when you write down what he actually says (taken from the subs):

    rocket launchers incorporate the propellant means within the projectile hence accelerating once fired.

    in any case launching is only the means to an end that being the delivery of a payload onto a target.

    the nickname stuck to the point that bazooka became a catch-all term for any rocket launcher old or new, a generic term that still remains in use.

    and so it was stories of war that first introduced launchers to the popular culture but as the era of action films came of age their influence would spread.

I know I'm cherry picking but I also think that there are much worse examples of this. Am I expecting too much from a simple YouTube video? I know better videos are possible and I know I could write this (hell, I have written better videos if I may say so myself). The AE can't be that difficult to make. Perhaps I'm underestimating the process behind actually making YT videos (elizabeth / kleinbl00?); perhaps I'm annoyed that I didn't do this myself, but I see so much YT videos that are less informative than a cursory Wikipedia read get hundreds of thousands of views and it just annoys the hell out of me.





kleinbl00  ·  2559 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    Nothing personal francopoli, but I kind of hate videos like this.

sigh

They're destroying video as a medium.

It's worth noting that they exist only on Youtube. Vimeo doesn't have shit like this. Amazon doesn't have shit like this. Youtube videos look like Youtube videos for the same reason that the most successful locksmith back in the days of paper phone books was "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Locksmith."

Youtube viewers have the attention span of gnats. They'll add something to the queue if it looks good in a thumbnail. Excessive, dumb graphics look good in a thumbnail. They'll switch away the minute things are boring. That's okay because on Facebook it's a view after three seconds. Youtube is now claiming it's 30, but last year it was 6, so WTF ever especially since they're currently experiencing a catastrophic advertiser revolt. So you get this kind of video - stupid voiceover graphics that mean nothing.

But wait! There's more! It's a social network so if I like your gaming channel and you like my gaming channel and we all like John's gaming channel, Youtube is going to suggest you, me and John to anyone who clicks you or me or John so you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. And if Bob watches John, and Jim watches John, then if Sam watches anything Bob or Jim watch Sam will also get John because really? Youtube exists to force-feed you bullshit on autoplay so they can count views so they can charge advertisers for it.

And the content? The content doesn't fucking matter. It's for people who can't get away from the computer long enough to boil a cup o'noodle so they sit the laptop or the phone or WTF ever on the counter and let it chatter at them while they sit there fondling their balls and wait for the microwave to ding. They'd be reading memes on Reddit if they weren't busy actually using their hands for something so it's a good thing there's a charming British dude to tell them shit they already knew about rocket launchers while showing them footage from video games.

You know, video games. You've played a few, right? Here's "fair use"-length clips from all of them stolen without credit so that you'll relate to at least a handful. Fuck yeah. (that game). Fuck yeah. I used to love (that other game). Didn't we all? Oh, yeah. Follow this channel and we'll remind you of other things you already like.

Nobody on the planet ever said "I'd like to watch something that tells me something I already know that I don't really have to pay much attention to that the people producing it don't give a fuck if I watch more than a few seconds of whose primary value comes from the fact that it's very much like all the other superficial shit I don't pay any attention to" but that's what Youtube rewards. The Youtube model delivers payouts to exactly.that.bullshit so that's the bullshit we all get.

Know what drives me up the fucking wall? Unprofessionalism is a style now. See this guy?

https://www.youtube.com/user/marquesbrownlee

One of the top tech bloggers on Youtube. Know what he shoots on?

Know why? Because it's super-duper fetish gear if you're a Youtube punter and he gets enough hits he can afford it. But you know what would make his shit look even better?

Two fucking iphones instead of one so he wouldn't be doing that bullshit jumpcut farklefuck that every youtuber used to do because they only had one camera but now every youtuber does because that way you know they're legit or some shit.

Cinematography and editing are a settled fucking thing. Fucking Merian Cooper used the same techniques for Grass in 1925 that Warner Fucking Herzog used last week: A roll, B roll, voiceover, maintain continuity in the cut. Youtube? Youtube has decided that jarring is good because 99.9% of their content is jarring so if you edit like a human you're pretentious or some shit.

It is the worst fucking thing in the world and I hate it so much. There's 300 hours of fresh and shiny new useless bullshit uploaded to Youtube every minute and Youtube gives not the first fuck if any of it is good, they only care about finding ways to force you to sift through it so they can charge advertisers for whatever pearls you pluck out of the shit. Except the pearls aren't pearls, they're horse apples and seriously. How many gamers are there out there that don't understand how a rocket launcher works? It's a rocket. In a tube. That launches.

Jesus.

Sorry. Struck a nerve. I didn't realize how much I hated Youtube until I found myself with two roommates who blast it at 110dB for hours at a time without ever once being in the same goddamn room as the panel on which it is playing and none of it - NONE OF IT is even vaguely illuminating.

veen  ·  2558 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    Know what drives me up the fucking wall? Unprofessionalism is a style now.

Yesss that's it. This setup might just be the archetype of that. It makes sense when you look at the 'anyone can make videos' mentality that is still central to YouTube - if a channel keeps on growing, there is little reason to deviate from those unprofessional habits. I've actually been watching Marques' videos for five years now. His review was why I switched from my iPhone 3GS to the Galaxy Nexus back in the day. There is honestly not a lot that has changed except the quality of the visuals and maybe his pacing.

kleinbl00  ·  2558 days ago  ·  link  ·  

...where's the fucking camera in there?

I will throw no shade on Marques. The dude does what works. But here's the fucked up thing: before the one-camera-jumpcut style became king, you could legit buy decent video switchers for under $500. But now you can't. Because nobody uses them. And shit - you've been able to cut multiple cameras live in Final Cut since 2006. but nobody does.

Here's how bad it is - I worked at a goofy little studio that puts this together. It's got three not-great HDV cameras, a Newtek switcher, three Sennheiser Evos, a jib and some lights. And that rig is so flabbergastingly major compared to what everyone else is doing that they rent it out to Larry Fucking King.

veen  ·  2558 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Found it! It's a Canon Rebel. Couldn't find audio gear in the picture though.

That said, I don't think I have a good idea on how to make YT less bad. They already switched their monetizing focus to minutes watched instead of views, which is the reason so many videos are now slightly over 10 minutes (which is when YT supposedly starts paying more). You'd think that YouTube with their obvious desire to become TV 2.0 should have figured something out by now to be the rising tide that lifts all boats.

kleinbl00  ·  2558 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Nobody knows how to use audio gear. It requires skill. So instead they record using the shitty mic on the front of the camera and then they go back, listen to it, watch their lips and record themselves lip-synching to themselves. It's legitimately fucking amazing.

You know the way to improve Youtube? Give advertisers a demographic breakdown of who watches what videos, how long they watch it for and what Google knows about their purchasing habits and then let advertisers bid on ads that run alongside.

The same way advertising with video content has been run since the dawn of fucking cathode ray tubes.

You know why advertisers are bailing like a mutherfucker on Youtube? Because Youtube refuses to do this because then everyone would discover that the Emperor truly has no clothes.

Youtube gets a billion views a month and isn't profitable. Let that sink in for a minute.

user-inactivated  ·  2558 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    Two fucking iphones instead of one so he wouldn't be doing that bullshit jumpcut farklefuck that every youtuber used to do because they only had one camera but now every youtuber does because that way you know they're legit or some shit.

This is why the Greene Brothers are unwatchable. I like their stuff in small doses as a podcast but man I hate their videos.

user-inactivated  ·  2559 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Do you hate YouTube or the popular content? 'Cause pop shit be pop shit, just a pick a decade.

kleinbl00  ·  2558 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Nowhere did I say a word about popular content.

user-inactivated  ·  2558 days ago  ·  link  ·  

You talk about stuff masses adore that you think is horrendous. Nowhere did you say a word about the platform being bad. Care to elaborate?

kleinbl00  ·  2558 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I did not. I talked about stuff that gets lots of views because views are a toxic metric gerrymandered to extract as much money out of advertisers as possible with no care or concern for the underlying content.

user-inactivated  ·  2558 days ago  ·  link  ·  

...did I black out and miss something?

You talk about low-quality popular content and how it's "destroying video as a medium", in bold. Not a mention of advertising or views.

I ask about whether it's YouTube you actually hate or the popular content, which you talk about.

You say you never said a word about popular content, despite talking about XboxAhoy and Marques Brown Lee.

Fine. I'll say what I wanted the conversation to turn to through Socratic questioning.

You say bad things about the platform. At the same time, your arguments are about the videos and the attention those videos get.

I can understand that some of YouTube's modi operandi are not great, but it's not the platform's problem if its users desire to indulge in lower-brow pleasures. Hubski can turn into a shit hole in a New York minute if just a couple of us decide that it's a better mode of operation than the mature and respectful manner that we currently employ. Supplementary examples: Reddit, 4chan.

You can use Twitter to share wise thoughts concisely - or you can use it as a stream of consciousness that means nothing to the outside world.

You can use YouTube to post original content and promote thoughtful critique in the comment section - or you can whore views all the ways you can think of.

Granted, the platform's design dictates a lot of how the platform is used - much like we talked about the way linguistic structure might dictate the way new information is processed within it - but you don't talk about this. All you say is how YouTube is a shithole, all who watch the videos are goldfish morons and that it takes a grain of time to learn the awesome tricks Ahoy employs in his videos.

Or was your original reply a way to say that you only wanted a venue to vent?

kleinbl00  ·  2558 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Insisting I said something three times does not mean I said it.

user-inactivated  ·  2559 days ago  ·  link  ·  

. . . but it does have cool little gems like guys documenting the progress of their first bee colonies or tutorials on how to paint miniature gaming figures in different styles to make them stand out. It's just a shame, because the really nifty and worthwhile videos are often really niche, which means they're not going to get as many hits. For those videos, production value or the lack of is kind of secondary, because the value of an enthusiastic person saying hey, "here is a 50 year old model train I picked up at an antique fair and it's just so great I wanted you to see" is more important than text over images.

user-inactivated  ·  2558 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I love this channel. Something tells me you also will. It still has the jump cut thing going on, but IMO it adds, not subtracts from the attention to the narrative. I wish I was creative enough to pull something like this off well.

kleinbl00  ·  2558 days ago  ·  link  ·  

And that was the whole point of Youtube but it is not the way Youtube monetizes which means Youtube will bury that shit in favor of Smosh doing the cinnamon challenge again.

elizabeth  ·  2559 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I know you listen to Hello Internet - and surely CGPGrey talking about his research process illustrates how hard it can be. There are entire production teams behind channels like Kurzgesagt. I think this style of videos are quite hard to produce honestly. I agree this one isn't great, but most stuff on YouTube isn't either. It's often a one-nonprofessionnal-person effort which greatly explains it. And one person will rarely be good at all things so you'll often see good text with shitty animation or vice versa. If you think you can do just as well (or even better) maybe you should do it and make a killing! But it's mostly just very time consuming.

Interview style, like Brady Haran does it a lot easier because not being 100% accurate in your facts/mis-speaking is fine when talking off the top of your head. Or when it's an opinion piece like Nerdwriter does and you don't need to be factual (but it still takes him a week/video).

veen  ·  2558 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I also listen religiously to Cortex, so I think have a good sense of what can go into the writing. And yet his videos, while certainly entertaining enough, only sometimes go reach a depth and quality that I think is possible in video. His visual style is exactly the unprofessional style KB describes - stick figures, simple shapes in what is essentially a Powerpoint presentation. Video can be so much more than just a script with something to keep your eyes occupied with.

Edit: and yeah, once in a while I come back to the idea of making veenspace YouTube videos. :)

elizabeth  ·  2558 days ago  ·  link  ·  

FYI, I'd totally watch some Veenspace videos :)