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comment by oyster
oyster  ·  2640 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: January 4, 2017

So I deal with this stuff a lot, probably since I was 13 and there's a lot of subtle things men do that make other men think well wait crap that seems harmless, what if I did that and it was misread. The thing is you wouldn't. There's making small talk and then there's making one comment out of nowhere plus body language plus ignoring the woman's obvious body language. What I've realized as I've grown is that they aren't ignoring the body language at all. You wouldn't continue to stare at a woman who looked extremely uncomfortable but some men would because making that woman feel small is their goal. Then there's the difference between looking and leering which often times men think well it's only leering if the guys unattractive. Except no, looking = friendly, possibly flirty and thinking the woman looks interesting or attractive while leering = wondering what the woman asshole tastes like, it's weirdly violating.

A lot of the time we brush off the uncomfortable feeling, try and laugh it off then carry on with our days. I've been doing that since I was very young and I hate thinking about it. I hate when it happens to other woman who remind me of younger me.

Here's an example: a guy at the bar wouldn't stop trying to get me to do a shot with him the other night even after I said no I have no idea who you are go away multiple times and keep in mind I've transitioned from polite to bitchy in these encounters. It was easy for me to be bitchy because I'm friends with a lot of people at the bar however if I wasn't I would have felt very uncomfortable. Now any guy who has ever offered a girl a drink in a bar is remembering that and relating to this guy so they're thinking whoa whoa whoa slow down, what if people thought that about me ? Well would you ever argue with a woman who said no first off ? If so would you say something like are you sure once while smiling or would you get more aggressive in how you were looking and start whining for her to just do the shot with you multiple times ?

I wrote this all out because I think since other woman get it so quickly we expect the same of men. I've realized we really can't though because men can't just understand how woman experience life if we don't fully explain it so when somebody seems open to understanding I like to take that opportunity.





_refugee_  ·  2640 days ago  ·  link  ·  

in this subthread: 95% men telling women that surely, the woman's wrong (and if she's wrong, exactly how terrible it's going to be for the man as a result, with the implication of oh how bad she should feel)

You know what I have learned from lots of years dating and not dating lots of guys? A whole lot of them will say whatever they think is needed in order to get the girl they're talking to to go home with them. I've had guys hit on me by telling me they're not hitting on me.

And everyone gets so hung up on informing the woman that surely, she was wrong, she's overreacting, she's misconstruing, that the real problem, which is that she felt really uncomfortable, (uncomfortable at best) gets completely glossed over.

It's real funny too that the woman goes "That was uncomfortable, I didn't like that" and prepares to dismiss the interaction for the most part but when a dude is involved, he goes "That was uncomfortable, his behavior was inappropriate, and I'm reporting it immediately to management."

oyster  ·  2640 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Dude, society even does that to rape and sexual assault victims. The fact that our culture makes woman feel bad for somehow ruining mens lives by reporting things men do is ridiculous. Then of course the cherry on top is the well why don't woman report things ? My favourite has to be that you're getting a man fired due to your brother's actions. Damn woman and our mind control powers.

Quatrarius  ·  2640 days ago  ·  link  ·  

am i able to question you without losing my woman card because i gotta say i really do need this card