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comment by byonic
byonic  ·  656 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Why I Can't Get Started . . .

I've had a similar train of thought when it comes to self improvement.

Take fitness for example, I've come to accept that on some level I just don't want to go through the process to become fit. If I genuinely wanted to become fit I would have no problem doing the research to come up with a diet + exercise plan that meets my needs and I'd stick to it. But because I don't stick to it when I come up with a plan, that must mean that I want leisure more than I want to go through the work it takes to become fit. Maybe I want to already be fit, but I don't want to become fit.

There was a piece of r/getmotivated style advice that made its rounds a while back that said something along the lines of "Replace the phrases 'I don't want to...', 'I don't have time to...' etc with 'It's not a priority for me to...'" I've found it to be a bit shallow like most of those little motivational catchphrases end up being when applied as a life strategy. However, I do think it's useful for a quick perspective change. Do you really want the things you say you want?

To bring it back to your post, the notion of there being an internal and external set of priorities resonates with me. I think it should be a goal to make them line up as much as possible. The question is how?




lil  ·  656 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I have some ideas how to do this -- starting with becoming aware of the second list.

For example people play all kinds of computer games (or post on hubski) for the reasons on the internal list. Priorities are probably feelings of success, achievement, smartness for the games. Whereas the feelings of success if we do stuff on the external list are few in the short term and iffy in the long term. Priorities on the second list are also to have a feeling of connection, importance, impact, meaning, etc. We sometimes get that from a hubski post.

I'd say much more, but it's taking me away from my first list.

Thanks for writing.

ButterflyEffect  ·  656 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    For example people play all kinds of computer games (or post on hubski) for the reasons on the internal list. Priorities are probably feelings of success, achievement, smartness for the games. Whereas the feelings of success if we do stuff on the external list are few in the short term and iffy in the long term. Priorities on the second list are also to have a feeling of connection, importance, impact, meaning, etc. We sometimes get that from a hubski post.

Hmm. I've been thinking about this lately, with regards to "feelings of success, achievement..." etc. Especially with relation to fitness...it's actually the opposite, at least for me. The notion that failure is a possibility is exciting in a weird way and drives me to go out and do it. Whatever it is. Running, hiking, and more recently, climbing. Success is great, but the struggle and chances of failure might be greater.

lil  ·  656 days ago  ·  link  ·  

One of the beautiful things about improv is that failure is a possibility. mknod it opens up possibilities for fearlessness... but in your case bfx, is while the "struggle and chances of failure" might be greater, are you saying that you are motivated by the possibility of failure, or simply excited by it. Who said "fail better"? Oh, Beckett:

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better. -- Samuel Beckett
ButterflyEffect  ·  656 days ago  ·  link  ·  

That is a great quote, Beckett was an immensely talented individual.

There's a couple of quotes I came across after watching The Barkley Marathons, which wasoxygen is familiar with.

    If you're going to face a real challenge it has to be a real challenge. You can't accomplish anything without the possibility of failure.

    True success is not the absence of failure, It is the refusal to surrender.

    There is no success if failure is not in the mix."

All quotes by Gary Cantrell. It's both motivation and excitement. The former because the easy things in life do not provide proper clarity and appreciation for your life and for successes, the latter because it's unknown. If I fail, how, when, and what will I learn. How will I "fail better"?

More to come in Pubski.

mknod  ·  652 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I happened to login today and saw this. I'm glad to see I'm still thought about from time to time 🐙😁

I've had a hard couple months. This made me feel really good.

lil  ·  652 days ago  ·  link  ·  

🐙😁 you are the hubski improv goto guy. I hope your hard couple of months become softer.

Deltron_0  ·  655 days ago  ·  link  ·  

keep it simple: make it fun. It's all how you look at it, dude.