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comment by snoodog
snoodog  ·  2757 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: What should teenagers spend their time doing?

    Heavy eye roll ,could you be more of a dudebro ? Like come on. Actually I hate getting attached and peace out when a guy seems to be getting feelings so not much chance to get burned.

I was a bit tempted to take a cheap shot at that statement but I genuinely feel sorry that you cant let yourself feel attached to anyone. I never felt any hate or resentment for anyone I've been with. Regrets, sure, but never any resentment.

    Going on a date implies you are interested in a person plain and simple. Do you think being honest would have worked ? Saying " Hey want to go on a date not because I'm into you but so I can practice talking to girls so I fumble less on the hot chicks ?"

Im curious if you think that no date is better than a imperfect date? I don't remember guys exactly lining up to date bigger girls in HS. Young breakups are a normal healthy thing. They happen for all sorts of good and bad reasons. IMO thats how young people learn to navigate the dating world and its good for young people to get as much experience as possible early on when they are more resilient and less capable of hurting each-other. I remember breakups for all sorts of weird reasons like not being cool enough, not having a car, or not getting the approval of the click leader. I don't see how "Im not all that attracted to you" Or "I like Suzie more" outside of the normal realm.

    If being honest wouldn't have worked then guess what you're being an asshole in denial.

If we ever get hubski titles you and @_refuge_@ can pitch in for my "Resident A-Hole" Title. Ill wear it with pride.



oyster  ·  2757 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Ya I'm not big on pity but you were smart to not take a cheap shot there since that feeling has nothing to do with past dates and everything to do with a dysfunctional childhood. Now you don't have to get into another spiral of denying being a dick. Not sure what your tangent about resentment is here but I go off on tangents to so...eh.

Thing is there would be plenty of assholes, myself included, who I would rather pick because we have no problem admiting what we can be. You on the other hand refuse to accept that lying to somebody about being interested in them is a shitty thing to do.

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snoodog  ·  2757 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I don't really think it matters why you asked someone on date if you go on it its most likely because you are seeking some sort of benefit. I remember when I was younger girls would occasionally go on dates with me to get free dinner or free booze. They didnt really have any interest in me and according to your definition that would have put me on the receiving end of asshole behavior. Despite that I always got something out of it otherwise I wouldn't have gone. A date was always good for a self esteem boost, minimal social boost, practice and sometimes I even got introduced to other friends that liked me more. Reflecting back they definitely got more out of it than I did but those dates were still preferable to not having any dates. Net effect was that both people came out ahead although some people did better than others.

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oyster  ·  2757 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    They didnt really have any interest in me and according to your definition that would have put me on the receiving end of asshole behavior.

A lot of people consider using guys for free stuff to be asshole behaviour. Also I feel like what you call dating really isn't anymore. It's hanging out and having casual sex which is a hell of a lot more honest. Dating implies actual interest beyond hanging out and screwing.

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snoodog  ·  2757 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Yes this, we can finally agree. My intended advice was that its OK to netflix and chill with a fat chick. And that you can live that socal stigma down and still come out ahead. IMO all dating at that age level is casual anyway.

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oyster  ·  2757 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Yaa we stopped being ashamed of casual sex years ago so nobody really bothers to pretend it's dating anymore.

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