You're trying really hard to see using somebody as an okay thing to do. That's not at all how I describe dating, that's how I describe you pretending you're doing chubby girls a favour. Convincing somebody you actually like them enough to date them when in reality you are just using them is shitty thing to do. There are 3 kinds of people in this world 1) People who don't know they are assholes and legitimately think they are helping others/doing them favours. 2) People who know they are assholes, accept it and don't pretend like they are doing anybody any favours. 3) People who deep down know they are being assholes but try to justify it by claiming they are doing others favours. Type 1 and type 2 are something we have all been but type 3 is just an ass in denial. The worst kind. Edit: I'm just going to clarify here that the accepted understanding of "using somebody" is lying to somebody in order to get something. So don't come back with but like technically we are always using people since we benefit from interactions.
HA! I thought of that post when reading his comment. I remember a friend once saying, "there are two types of people in the world: 1. those that think there are two types of people in the world and 2. those that know better.
I use a significantly looser definition of "Dating" than you do. You sound like you have been burned in the past and you assume implied deception that I did not intend. One can be very open about having no serious or long term intentions and still "date" by my definition.
Heavy eye roll ,could you be more of a dudebro ? Like come on. Actually I hate getting attached and peace out when a guy seems to be getting feelings so not much chance to get burned. Going on a date implies you are interested in a person plain and simple. Do you think being honest would have worked ? Saying " Hey want to go on a date not because I'm into you but so I can practice talking to girls so I fumble less on the hot chicks ?" If being honest wouldn't have worked then guess what you're being an asshole in denial. You sound like you have been burned in the past
I was a bit tempted to take a cheap shot at that statement but I genuinely feel sorry that you cant let yourself feel attached to anyone. I never felt any hate or resentment for anyone I've been with. Regrets, sure, but never any resentment. Im curious if you think that no date is better than a imperfect date? I don't remember guys exactly lining up to date bigger girls in HS. Young breakups are a normal healthy thing. They happen for all sorts of good and bad reasons. IMO thats how young people learn to navigate the dating world and its good for young people to get as much experience as possible early on when they are more resilient and less capable of hurting each-other. I remember breakups for all sorts of weird reasons like not being cool enough, not having a car, or not getting the approval of the click leader. I don't see how "Im not all that attracted to you" Or "I like Suzie more" outside of the normal realm. If we ever get hubski titles you and @_refuge_@ can pitch in for my "Resident A-Hole" Title. Ill wear it with pride.Heavy eye roll ,could you be more of a dudebro ? Like come on. Actually I hate getting attached and peace out when a guy seems to be getting feelings so not much chance to get burned.
Going on a date implies you are interested in a person plain and simple. Do you think being honest would have worked ? Saying " Hey want to go on a date not because I'm into you but so I can practice talking to girls so I fumble less on the hot chicks ?"
If being honest wouldn't have worked then guess what you're being an asshole in denial.
Ya I'm not big on pity but you were smart to not take a cheap shot there since that feeling has nothing to do with past dates and everything to do with a dysfunctional childhood. Now you don't have to get into another spiral of denying being a dick. Not sure what your tangent about resentment is here but I go off on tangents to so...eh. Thing is there would be plenty of assholes, myself included, who I would rather pick because we have no problem admiting what we can be. You on the other hand refuse to accept that lying to somebody about being interested in them is a shitty thing to do.
I don't really think it matters why you asked someone on date if you go on it its most likely because you are seeking some sort of benefit. I remember when I was younger girls would occasionally go on dates with me to get free dinner or free booze. They didnt really have any interest in me and according to your definition that would have put me on the receiving end of asshole behavior. Despite that I always got something out of it otherwise I wouldn't have gone. A date was always good for a self esteem boost, minimal social boost, practice and sometimes I even got introduced to other friends that liked me more. Reflecting back they definitely got more out of it than I did but those dates were still preferable to not having any dates. Net effect was that both people came out ahead although some people did better than others.
A lot of people consider using guys for free stuff to be asshole behaviour. Also I feel like what you call dating really isn't anymore. It's hanging out and having casual sex which is a hell of a lot more honest. Dating implies actual interest beyond hanging out and screwing. They didnt really have any interest in me and according to your definition that would have put me on the receiving end of asshole behavior.