I'm not _refugee_, and I'm a dude, and I'm not one for giving advice, but I'm still friends with all but one of my exes in the sense that we hang out regularly, if we're nearby, or correspond regularly, if not, so maybe I can offer a useful counterpoint. Men and women are mostly alike, the differences being in plumbing and social programming. The plumbing is relatively intuitive, just don't take your ques from pornography because what works for the camera doesn't necessarily work for people. The social programming isn't. What you want to do, when you're young and inexperienced, is find someone warped in much the same way as you, so you have enough of a rapport that you can be forgiven for your confusion. You won't be able to rely on them forever, because as people get more sure of themselves they feel less a need to perform themselves, but as a teenager subcultural markers are a decent guide. Don't be afraid to approach people; most of us who are alone would rather not be (some of us who aren't alone would rather be; hence "all my exes"; but that's another comment).