Ah. Pedantry. What fun. She may not define herself as "lesbian", but she does define herself as queer, which - as of this morning when I checked it again just to be sure - means homosexual. She may find "lesbian" too restricting for her personal interpretation of how she walks the world, or whatever, but my use of the term as shorthand within the broad context of a title for a post that links to an article she wrote, the term "lesbian" does not diminish her nor misrepresent her. The fight you want to have? Neither she nor I want to have it. And it isn't necessary.
Ok, so hey... we are both hubskiers here, let's figure out what the heck is going on here. 1 - A writer calls herself "queer". 2 - I use a term that is less offensive to me - "lesbian" (because I grew up in the 70's, and "queer" then was equivalent to "nigger" today) - to refer to one aspect of her. 3 - I specifically call out that part of her identity because it is interesting in context of the article she is writing, since the Republican party openly and brazenly hates gay people. (I also pointed out that she is a "she", who the Republicans also hate, and likened her writing to Hunter S Thompson, due to the clearly gonzo-inspired nature the article. 4 - You jump down my throat for, I guess, "accusing" her of being lesbian? Or something? 5 - We both storm off in a huff thinking the other person is an idiot. 6 - Now. What's the next step?
I can see how my terse comment looked like a flame. My only real interest in poststructural gender theories is that they're very important to a lot of people, and there's a frustrating lack of Cliff's Notes "how do I be polite to you?" guides out there. That said, "queer" in more ambiguous than you think it is. I've seen you around enough that I never doubted your good will in picking that title, we just live in a time when those of us who aren't that interested in the subtleties of gender need to pay at least a little attention to those who are.
Gotcha. Yeah, we are on the same page. And, just to establish my sensitivity cred, I have four close friends who have transitioned to another sex, I was the officiant at a same-sex wedding, and am deeply connected to the local poly/circus/burner communities where the people on the fringe find their chosen families. But yeah... I'm also an almost 50 year old white dude who is giving less and less of a shit about other peoples' feelings every day. So I need to be hockey-checked from time to time.