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comment by Odder
Odder  ·  934 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: The problem isn’t that life is unfair – it’s your broken idea of fairness

This has the flavor of someone taking advantage of vulnerable people and trying to indoctrinate them to his own cynical worldview. That is, this article is just right about some things, enough to be terribly, horrifyingly wrong as a whole. Yeah, it's true that sometimes you have to compete over things. But that doesn't mean that all relationships that you have need to be adversarial. If you do treat everything as a competition, many people will think you are an asshole. Oh, they turned out to be losers? How convenient.

The world as a whole, as it turns out, is not a hyper-capitalistic society bent on eating each other alive. That's really just the business world, and I'm not sure even most businesses work that way. You can make comparisons between being a valuable employee and being a valuable romantic partner, but people typically don't date each other only to trade up when a new, more objectively desirable partner comes along. We're not living our lives just trying to maximize our "profits", and there's no reason that any of us should strive to be like that. That may sound irrational to some, like the author of this piece, but there wasn't any "rational" reason to pursue those profits, anyway.

A better article would focus less on this twisted, capitalist narrative, and maybe just on the idea that if you aren't getting what you want out of life, that that might be a problem with you, and not the world. If you want to have friends and you don't, become the kind of person other people want to be around. If you want a job and are unemployed, become the kind of person that companies want to hire. Reality isn't ever going to be "fair" and the more you think about it, fairness as a concept doesn't even make sense. And usually, it's much easier to try to adapt than to try to change the world to fit your ideal. But all this self-improvement advice doesn't need to get mixed with the ultra-cynical, "fuck you I've got mine" attitude. That attitude doesn't lead to anywhere good.

ThatFanficGuy  ·  933 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    If you want to have friends and you don't, become the kind of person other people want to be around.

As a person on his way to improvement in that area, I'd like to ask: could you share what you believe are the qualities of a person other people want to be around? Or, perhaps, is there something that one shouldn't have in order to be attractive to other people from the start?