You're doing great. Sharing your life with someone who doesn't treat you well is doing ill by yourself, and you deserve more than that. Until you've found your safe haven, keep in mind that having some fun with people you wouldn't let into your life otherwise every once in a while is fine. Don't let yourself become echo-chambered onto yourself and share some of yourself with someone every once in a while. Among the worst things you can do to yourself is tie yourself into the negative emotions that lurk quietly but cause mayhem come time.
"having some fun with people you wouldn't let into your life otherwise every once in a while is fine." That is something I'm definitely trying to work on. A rewarding but stupidly challenging for me. But, I do have a small goal. Tomorrow, there is a type of casual party, which is the best place to meet people. So, I will put my self out there and way outside my comfort zone. Should be intresting :)
That's a great way to challenge yourself and find new people! Good luck to you. What helped me was the idea that what other people think doesn't matter most of the time. Casual chatter is, and always will be, "most of the time". Once you start to only value the opinions of those you care about, you'll find it way easier to follow through with casual chatting and making new acquaintances.That is something I'm definitely trying to work on. A rewarding but stupidly challenging for me.