- I was up again at 4 a.m. the other night, one of five nocturnal ramblings in the early morning, the new me. No sleep. Picking my way in the dark, familiar territory of a home on Cape Cod where I have lived with my family for 34 years.
That guy sounds remarkably sentient. Explaining his diagnosis to his son is exactly the opposite of what has happened in my family. My Mom absolutely refuses to admit there is any issue whatsoever and gets uncharacteristically angry when there is any suggestion to the contrary. I got her NP home care and made the mistake of looking at their notes in front of her and she looked and after she saw the notes about her memory issues, she called them stupid and refused to let them in any more. This is a woman who was the head of Special Education in our county. She had never called anyone stupid in her life.
I make her dinner every night but I tested her a while ago to see if she could make rice. One measure of this and two of those, boil it and done. Pretty much the easiest things you can make. I left her with the task and came back ten minutes later and she had not figured it out so she threw the pot at me. She has never thrown anything at anyone ever. So out of character.
The memory issues are easier to deal with than the personality changes. I think she might be coming to terms with it even though she won't talk about it. She has laughed more in the last week than I have seen lately. Laughing has always been a big part of her personality that was missing for the last year or so. I assume because she was confused/bitter/whatever and maybe less so now so I hope that is a good sign.
Looks like a big week on PBS for me. The new Ken Burns doc on Jackie Robinson Monday and Tuesday and then this on Wednesday. Thanks.
Alzheimers is hard, and I'm so sorry that you have that in your life at the moment dude.
Staying patient with someone you love with the disease is a true test of your own personality: they have no choice in their actions and it turns them into somebody that they do not recognise as themselves. It's a horrid disease that's tough on all parties, so take solace in the facts you know are true -- your mum sounds like she has done some great things out of kindness and caring.
You hit the nail right on the head. I have had to really work hard on my patience, which was never my strong suit.
I lost a close and old friend of mine to Huntington's disease last year, and I think that and Alzheimer's share a lot of commonality. I found myself spending a lot of my own mental effort focussing on consciously remembering how and who he was in the past. In particular the positive impact he had on my life, not long after I met him, which was immeasurable. I feel a bit ashamed I never really said it outright to him, but you often don't really need that with other male friends. I'm not sure that was the right approach, more just a blind, coping mechanism.
- The memory issues are easier to deal with than the personality changes. I think she might be coming to terms with it even though she won't talk about it.
That's tough but not surprising. I asked my friend if he felt if he were trapped or constrained or diminished in his own mind and he said he wasn't aware of it, although he'd researched it thoroughly when the symptoms first started. A kind of back-handed blessing maybe.
Fuck I've made myself sad again.