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comment by _refugee_
_refugee_  ·  3231 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Tinderization of Feeling

I found the paragraph about chill interesting, but I'd like to say that

    not reply to texts for days because you are receiving too many

This is bullshit and everyone knows it. A similar maxim: we all believe the person we desire is having sex all the time, because we want to be having sex with them [and are insecure about it]. In reality, it's simply not true. No one's bringing home a new guy or gal every night. Most people really don't even want to.

The person who doesn't reply for texts for days isn't doing so because they are so popular they are overwhelmed by their texts. I've never known anyone to experience that or profess to experience that. The person who doesn't reply to texts for days in general is a shitty person who doesn't want to be your friend even though you would like them to be yours.

This article seems to say that "being chill" does not depend on the person that you are. But of course it does. A girl who is chill to me is not chill to the guy she wants to bone. She's chill to me because she has enough friends and I don't matter. But she's sure as hell not going to forget to text back that new codpiece.





mknod  ·  3230 days ago  ·  link  ·  

re: The texts thing.

I personally don't reply to some texts for days because I have developed a sort of "queuing" system for messages. I have adhd, and I really do get overwhelmed with the amount of email/texts/phone calls/snail mail I get.

So I put it in order, I have to reply to everyone in the order it was received (FIFO) or if it is something that is REALLY urgent move that to the top of the queue and work from there.

It really really really isn't a personal thing, and I've had some friendships struggle because of it. I guess I'm saying please don't assume because someone is a slow texter that they are being passive aggressive from the outset, some of us need extra time to process :D

_refugee_  ·  3228 days ago  ·  link  ·  

You are the exception to the rule.

It is far easier on the psyche and the person to believe that everyone is the rule and not the exception.

I could cut the girls I want to be friends with the slack that you deserve, and be eternally disappointed.

mknod  ·  3226 days ago  ·  link  ·  

:( well there's also no sense in being eternally disappointed