A reprint originally posted here on hubski two xmases ago.
Sub-title: Dear Hubski, I think of you more than you know.
Your Christmas letter is deeply impersonal. It says "I felt obligated to write an essay but felt no compunction whatsoever to reveal anything about myself, my life, or any of the details that I would share with you if we were actually in better contact." SO CHECK IT We limited the christmas card list to 100 people this year and there were omissions and forgottens. But we've now conducted ourselves professionally and personally in two metropolises over the past fifteen years and have family scattered across seven states. We've also had an eventful damn year and when you do see someone for the first time in a few years, you owe them the kindness of not saying "so yeah we had a kid opened a business rebuilt the house and moved a thousand miles, not necessarily in that order. What have you been up to?" Especially if you know how to write. The problem with lots of Christmas letters is nobody knows what they're for. Some of them end up being long-form brags. Some of them end up being rambling bitch-fests about your mother. Written with any humanity, however, they become your summary of your year for the people that are important to you. One of the Christmas letters we got included the phrase "we drove across Nevada very fast." Another included "John's business has grown to 25 employees." They're both great, they're both in context, and neither is competing with the other. Not only that, neither letter wallows in the 'our life is tougher than yours.' Because you know what? Nobody wants to read that. Nobody wants to hear your ass focusing on your hardships at this time of year. We're certain you faced them, just like all of us, but this is a time of celebration and we want to hear what went right. We want to hear what you're looking forward to. We want reassurance that you're okay. Because we know that if you weren't, you'd have reached out. Nearly all the people who received our letter - all 100 of them - knew some or all of the backstory behind our letter. They knew the nasty shit we didn't write down, they knew the impossible bullshit we had to swallow, they knew how rugged the year actually was. The function of the letter, for them, was to celebrate our year with us, push through the bullshit and look forward to future success.
Yup, added all the details of the struggles of 2015, kept them up for a day, but I'm taking them down now. One day is enough. Everything will be fine, awesome even, but it will take time. My intention was not to write an xmas letter: I just wanted to say -- in a very personal, yet general way -- that my life is touched by many many people and I think of them, yourself included, more than you know.Your Christmas letter is deeply impersonal.... SO CHECK IT
The function of the letter, for them, was to celebrate our year with us, push through the bullshit and look forward to future success.
This is beautiful. I love you kb.
Thanks for this! I have a love/hate relationship with annual holiday letters. Both of my parents are from very large families and someone on each side always took it upon themselves to compile yearly letters from each family and send it out as a yearly newsletter. I liked reading about what my out of state relatives were up to, but never felt comfortable coming up with a paragraph of what I was up to, or how I was doing. Now that I'm grown, I've become the recluse of the family. I haven't read a family newsletter in years, I speak to my immediate family only once every few months. And I'm sure they tire of planning family gatherings with me, as I have a hard time responding to messages and only make it to maybe half of the family events. But I've been trying harder lately, to respond to texts and answer phone calls. I do think of them often and writing a Christmas Letter would probably be appreciated. I think I'll try to sit down tonight and write to them, maybe post to the family Facebook page that I've only been to once.
Thanks for the motivation. It's done. Weirdly nervous about how they'll react, but reaching out after pushing away for so long was always going to be awkward.
Thanks for your comments mknod. I wish I had the energy to write everyone that I think about. I know they'd appreciate it. I always appreciate it when people think of me. Most of the time, it's just too hard to say something meaningful - but maybe I should just say "I'm thinking of you."...