I'm not gonna lie. I don't know much about medication to know whether or not what you have planned is a good idea. You should definitely keep in good touch with your doctors and be very, very careful. It's great that your parents are willing to help you through this. That said . . . That's no way to think. Day in and day out, no matter how shitty you feel, you need to respect yourself, remind yourself why you're great. Push yourself each day to be just a little bit better than you were the day before. Some days you'll do it with little effort, other days you'll fall up short. That's cool. Shit happens. What's not cool, is giving up. Remember, you're awesome. You already know it. All you have to do is show it, each and every day.I just want to be better. I hate it that I keep screwing up like this. I wish I could be trusted. I hate who I am and what I've become.
Like I told randomuser ... So that's good, as far as the medication goes, I know quite a bit about them because, I've had to deal with so many medications for so long. My psychiatrist has signed off on my ability to use the right medication during the right times to mitigate symptoms. He also believes that I should keep this quiet from my pain doctor - well let, him know I struggled after surgery but was able to work it out / manage it but, not to go overboard with unnecessary details because, I can't have him kicking me out of the program. I truly need a basic script and have a need for it. So yah.I have my flaws, and I'm sick of being strong, but being strong is something I'm good at so I'll work through these and this even though I have feelings of self-doubt, self-hate, and worthlessness.