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user-inactivated  ·  3178 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Today's Writing Prompt: A Person and A Place

Heather woke up to the sound of the doorknob catching the metal latch of the door and being shut properly the second time. She had never been left at a man's apartment by herself before and she assumed that Matt had simply gone to get the mail or get coffee and would be back very soon.

She stood up, stretched and completed the sun salutation in her underwear and then went to take a shower and wait for Matt. Her wrists were a little bruised from the morning, but while she may have minded last night, this morning she was a new woman and resigned herself ready to pay the price for that kink. Maybe they could use a tie instead next time. After the water started to get cold she stepped out of the shower and went into the living room to see why he hadn't joined her, but Matt wasn't around. The warm light of the sunshine streaming in through the windows dimmed as clouds began to creep in from the edges of the sky.

She saw a note on the kitchen table that said, "Heather" in black cursive writing and smiled. It read, "Heather, don't steal anything unless you want to see me again. I had to go pick up my son this morning. I won't be back until late tonight. The door locks itself behind you so don't worry about a key."

Heather felt suddenly alone within the high ceilings of the apartment. The wood floors were hardening and cooling beneath her feet and she felt naïve and immature. He had just gone without even saying good bye. She sat down at the kitchen table and tried to recapture the morning's happiness at finding someone to be with, but was incapable. She looked at her phone and there weren't any messages from him explaining anything. She realized she didn't even have his phone number.

Unable to come to grips with being a one-night stand for the first time in her life, she wrote down on the note her response. "I'd love to see you again. Try to guess what I stole - just kidding ;). 314 220-4568. Have a fun day with your son!"

She started to walk around Matt's apartment and saw awards on the walls. Reading them she realized that he had been in the military with something called CJSOTF but she had no idea what that meant and only thought to herself that it sounded impressive. She sat down on his couch in front of the TV and realized she was hungry. In the fridge there was a lot of fruit, and she pulled strawberries and eggs out to make breakfast.

"You're going to buy me a meal after all, sir," and she made a fake salute to herself in front of the stove. She pulled the pans out from the drying rack next to the sink, noticed that they were stainless steel and went to get butter from the fridge, and cooked breakfast. She ate, cleaned the dishes, and left Matt's apartment.

Matt got an alert on his phone that his front door had just been opened and turned on the security camera in the living room. He looked to Lauren, and said "Easy peasy," over their breakfast.

"Do you think you'll see her again?" Lauren asked.

"I don't know. She's nice, and she's pretty, but we'll see. I don't want to have to introduce anyone to my son anytime soon, and I'm sure as fuck not getting married again so I have to be sure that isn't something she wants to not waste her time." He drank his orange juice and looked at Lauren. "You guys were so lucky until a bunch of dorks went and got gay marriage legalized for you. You had the perfect out. What are you going to do now?"

"I figure I have at least another 10 years before that becomes the norm in my circles. I don't plan to live that long so that's future Lauren's problem. And fuck her, she's old."

Around 4 in the afternoon Matt came back to his apartment and inserted his key into the cold metal door. He laid down on his couch, smelled Heather on it, and got up to throw away the note on the table. Her response was much more positive than he had expected for being left alone in the morning. The apartment was stone silent as he picked up his phone and put her number in the contacts list.





Isherwood  ·  3178 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I like how the weather and space changes as Heather's morning progresses and she realizes what is going on. She also has a good character and makes the most out of her situation with that breakfast. It's a nice calm story.

I would read it out loud. My background is in storytelling so I always think about how things sound in speech and there are parts that felt a little stiff or lacked a little flow to me. Though, I feel like the fact that you're cranking these out every day can be a bit wearing on the writing muscle, so I'm just impressed the text is there.

user-inactivated  ·  3178 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Definitely could use some polish. With these I make an effort not to worry about anything too much so these are essentially first drafts off the cuff. Hopefully I can just practice more and develop my natural flow in a positive direction.

Isherwood  ·  3178 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I'll keep it in mind.

user-inactivated  ·  3177 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Don't go easy on me or anything. Your critique has helped to focus my efforts in developing that flow.