I like the more built out world at the end, it's helps to solidify the transition. I also like the the focus on clearing up word confusion in your edits, you have a good eye for it. Killing the comma after "a hairy beast" made the sentence more confusing. I don't know which is grammatically correct but I always just throw them in where I want pauses if I was reading it out loud. The missing comma set me back for a minute. As for the story itself, I would spend more time in each paragraph building out the fantasy world. Just a sentence per paragraph should do it, but it would help keep me in the scene. Without those reminders I figured out they were in a playhouse pretty quick. But, you have good pacing and a pleasant voice. The latter changes a bit in descriptions (you stop writing like you're speaking and start writing like something you've read before) but over all it's a solid work.
Your comments always seem to be spot on. Are you a professional writer or something? Could you expand on the second paragraph? Thank you for taking the time to read and critique! It really helps to have an honest outside perspective.
No, I just got a job where I have to give feedback on what people create. I figured the best way to get better was to just give people feedback, and here we are. As for the second paragraph - I think I read it wrong the first time. I was reading it like a spaceman spiff comic where the kids were pretending they were of a distant planet and not the frenzied mind of kids jacked up on horror films. So that critique can change a bit to inserting more emotion into the scenario. It was just a little difficult for me to pin down the scene and why the kids were so scared. It's unfortunate that you gave me such great feedback on a comment where I miss read the story...
The fault probably lies with the author. I just threw that up there as a silly idea that kind of wound itself into its own story. I think the points still stand. Improving my writing is the only goal, so these daily prompts are excellent for achieving that. They were sorely missed when you abandoned us for the last few days!