If you think about it, "because it's sexy" basically translates into "hurr durr...because I want you to." Which is a non-answer, if you ask me - of course you want me to do the thing you're telling me I should do, but what's the justification? Where's the convincing argument?

("Do x because it's sexy" really usually means "Do x because [I think] it's sexy," which follows naturally do "Do x because I like it/want you to.")

Now, for some people and in some topics, "because I want you to" is enough justification. For instance, if someone asked me to wear lingerie for them, or basically anything else rather low-level and usually not too much effort, time or cost that is placed in an arena where there is a general willingness or desire to please the partner. Sex is a great example because you should want to please your partner during sex. Business/monetary transactions are a great example of where this should never fly. The management of how your body appears to the world is another one. Your body's about the most personal thing you'll ever have, inhabit, own, (whatever word you use for it) and it controls you while you control it.

While "to look sexier for my partner' might be part of a list of reasons a person might want to lose weight, become more muscular, gain weight, hell cut their hair or something, I agree it shouldn't be the only reason and I certainly think any person telling me I should alter my body simply because their desire is sooooo extraordinary as to warrant it is not only justification but a gross demonstration of how that person thinks about his or her right to tell you what to do in life. And then after considering their lack of boundaries and desire for control/influence over you, then you should move on to the fact that they think "because i want you to" is good enough to convince you.

My hackles go up with a bang, immediately, when anyone comments on what I should do with my body or whether what I'm wearing is appropriate/'not attractive'. It's a sensitive topic but moreover it's my body and my choice. (This comes up a lot because I have a number of tattoos and plans for more. I love them and think they add to me; I certainly consider them embellishments, ornaments, attractive additions. However, I have family members that think it is appropriate, even necessary, to tell me that the tattoos make me "ugly." It's my god damn body. Stop thinking you have the right to tell me what to do with it.)

I recognize that as a straight male in my 40s there aren't a whole lot of ways i can tactfully add to this discussion, but I'm gonna try anyway.

For starters, the minute you appear in the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue you're no longer allowed to bitch about people calling you unsexy. It's pretty much a strawman argument at that point. I won't link to the pics because it doesn't add to the discussion but I will assert that Ronda Rousey has crossed into that "can't be called unsexy" realm beyond a reasonable doubt.

BE THAT AS IT MAY

I think the spirit of her argument is exactly what you're arguing - femininity and attractiveness are what you make of it. Self-confidence is far and away the most powerful aphrodisiac and whatever it takes to gain it, do it. Unfortunately we've developed elements of our culture that build up their own self-confidence by tearing others down and beauty journalism is one of the greatest offenders. I feel like the women who hate on Maxim have never picked up a Cosmo... I mean, Maxim is woman-degrading trash but it's got nothing on Helen Gurley Brown's monster. And the mags are all about what's "sexy."

They sell magazines by making you feel insecure, and then make you feel better by doing what they say. That's engagement and brand loyalty rolled into one. I agree with you - it's a crass method to follow but they're aiming for the lowest common denominator. Accept that you aren't fourteen, that their arguments are beneath you and don't give them the leverage to get under your skin. Whenever someone with something to sell tells you "x is sexy" just remember that they're just trying to make a buck off your insecurities.

And then don't let them.

The reason I stay fit is that I find myself sexy. Whatcha gonna do with THAT? Heyoooo

Stop it. Stop telling me what I need to do to have worth. Stop thinking you can convince me to do something because YOU find it attractive. Where did you get this attitude from? What makes you think I have any interest in impressing you?

In my experience, girls mostly tear other girls down, guys tend to care way less. I generally try I convince my gf that she's prettier without makeup, but what has been explained to me is that the makeup isn't for my sake. Girls are way harder on each other/themselves than guys are, outside of the internet at least. And the opinions of guys hiding behind computers commenting about girls just feel terrible about themselves and are taking it out on girls that would reject them under normal circumstances. Those opinions shouldn't matter to anyone anyway.

ZZ Top and Rod Stewart's opinions on this subject:

Ronda Rousey can put me and sleeper hold and whisper facts about pokemon to me. Back to reality, I don't think she was saying people should think muscles are sexy but that she's comfortable with who she is. I think it was more of a "I respect myself because I've worked towards something" statement. Also, Ronda gained weight for her sport's illustrated swimsuit shoot because she felt she needed a more feminine shape.

Hm interesting, I actually really related to her video. She doesn't say her muscles are sexy, just that she is still feminine despite having muscles. And DNBs aren't people who don't work. They are people who spend their life "just trying to be pretty and be taken care of by someone else". If someone doesn't want to work, male or female, if their partner is onboard I'm all for it. But isn't it ok to say its wrong to spend your life trying to be attractive just to attract someone who will provide for you?