I avoid conflict as well. Not sure what you mean by unhealthy boundaries. Definitely suppress my emotions, though it's more automatic than a conscious effort. I find long drives at night to be very helpful in sorting out things in my mind. I'm focused on a task that is relatively mundane, which uses enough brainpower to allow me to cut through the "noise" long enough to get things straightened out. I'd suggest finding something similar and see if it helps you. The user lil has a blog with some helpful information regarding social interaction and various other topics. I've found it very informative, though I'm unable to truly understand and implement the concepts for myself. It's good to know how other people work, though.
Yeah everything is unconcious for me too.. like an instinct reflex knee-jerk reaction - unhealthy boundaries: I may quickly gravitate towards someone romantically/ too close and intense straight away - then second thing - ignoring their boundaries, and sacrificing mine/myself to serve others against their will, Then I may resent the relationship because I gave up control, not being able to say no to requests - later feel like I want out / not be too close emotionally, avoiding conflict - resenting the service while pretending to be happy and ok, then throwing everything away ... ..a bit crazy/ messed up.... Drives have been good - I'm in a bad habit of listening to music..