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comment by KaliYugaz
KaliYugaz  ·  3210 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: What are the best ways to compliment a girl?

Your entire attitude is wrong.

It seems like you are distant from, uncomfortable with, and perhaps even deeply intimidated by, the girl you are courting. No matter what you say to her in this state or how well thought out it is, the insecurity will be visible through your body language, and it will not be attractive to anyone.

Relationships are primarily emotional and physical in nature. The first things you have to ask yourself are 1) whether you can be comfortable being very close friends with this girl, and 2) is it reasonable that she could find you physically attractive? If the answer to either of these questions is no, then either fix the problem with yourself, or seek out a relationship with a different person.





goo  ·  3209 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I have to disagree with your comment.

Everyone is a little intimidated by someone they're attracted to. It's okay to be nervous and want to get things right. There is always the real possibility that if you fuck up, she's going to lose interest or be frightened off. This applies to most social situations, especially when the stakes are high (relationships, career opportunities, etc).

So, I can understand how ThatFanficGuy wants to do this compliment thing right, and these kinds of questions are exceptionally common from those less experienced in relationship etiquette. He shouldn't rely on it alone for courting, but there is no shame in gathering more information to give it your best shot.

I think you are reading into this post too much; ThatFanficGuy's relationship to the girl is not mentioned. Plus, asking an insecure person if it's "reasonable" for someone else to find them attractive will very, very rarely get you an objective answer.

user-inactivated  ·  3209 days ago  ·  link  ·  

The reason I was asking this is to figure out whether common compliments have a hidden connotation I wasn't aware of. It seems that honest hearts and authenticity beats any misunderstanding.