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comment by ButterflyEffect
ButterflyEffect  ·  3539 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: April 15, 2015

Next week I will be helping to interview people for my current position on campus. Very exciting because I've never been on the other side of things and I think it will be a valuable experience for picking out things I should start doing in interviews and finding out what I already do well. Reviewing other peoples resumes was interesting enough too. I was surprised at how many of the applicants had poorly formatted or structured resumes (thanks to _refugee_ for helping to clean mine up a while back).

One of my newer friends professed to having a crush on me last year (we weren't friends at that time), but never doing anything about it because she felt I'm unapproachable. After some discussion it's because I come off as uncaring and uninterested in making small talk and talking to people in general, which isn't too far off from the truth...but now I'm wondering how many missed opportunities there have been because of that. Sigh.





user-inactivated  ·  3538 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Question for hubski: does anyone else get 100 million times more nervous interviewing than being interviewed? I don't get nervous when it's me on the line, but I'm always worried for the people I have to bring in for stuff. I just don't want them to be uncomfortable and I know a lot of people are during interviews.

It's not nerves, exactly, just dread or too much empathy or something.

_refugee_  ·  3538 days ago  ·  link  ·  

It is very rare for opportunities to truly be lost, especially those between people. It is hard work to burn something. She may still be a little interested.

If you don't like small talk (and talking in general apparently - whooo) then why perform small talk in order to attract someone who presumably likes small talk in general or likes it specifically with you? The danger of changing a preference in order to be more attractive is that unfortunately, you attract people who like the "new you" - which may not be you at all - more like "you trying to be attractive" you.

ButterflyEffect  ·  3538 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Nah, she's got a boyfriend now and even if she didn't I'm leaving soon so nope nope nope. I just...people are interesting but expending the energy to talk to people and get to know them isn't something I'm ever going to go far out of my way to do because it's hard to find reasons to care enough to do so. Talking to all of y'all on Hubski is one thing but in person and all that is something entirely different. Not planning on changing it's just a "what if" thought experiment. Why the "whooo"?