- At the end of last winter, a gigantic billboard advertising Android, Google’s operating system, appeared over Times Square in New York. In a lower-case sans serif font – corporate code for friendly – it declared: “be together. not the same.” This erratically punctuated mantra sums up the web’s most magical proposition – its existence as a space in which no one need ever suffer the pang of loneliness, in which friendship, sex and love are never more than a click away, and difference is a source of glamour, not of shame.
Perhaps an interesting accompaniment to the discussion on internet identity prompted by ButterflyEffect's post a few weeks back.
There's a quote from Dune I think about, "It should be one of the tests," the old woman said. "Humans are almost
always lonely." When she says 'humans,' she means intelligent, critically thinking people. Jung says, Once upon a time, humans lived in small, tribal villages, and the range of things to know and opinions to hold was very small. Now, the range of knowledge, ideas, and unknowns about which an opinion may be held is a combinatorial explosion. So, inevitably, no two thoughtful people have the same knowledge or the same opinions, to a much wider degree than ten thousand years ago. I wonder if that means intelligent, critically-thinking people will always be lonely, to some degree or another. I do think the internet can help intelligent humans to connect with others, who are not only intelligent, but also share similar areas of knowledge and opinion. Yes, YouTube comment threads don't fulfill that promise. Hubski does.In a low voice, she said: "I've been so lonely."
Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.
the promise of the internet is contact
But proximity, as city dwellers know, does not necessarily mean intimacy
Sometimes I wonder if the notion of finding a place where people "share similar areas of knowledge and opinion" is the problem. Classical communities were made up of a plethora of types, the only implied shared interest being their own livelihood. As a programmer I think I feel lonelier with other programmers than I do in a random group of people. If you are in a community that has gathered around an interest (rather than a place), there is essentially only room for that thing. Anything else would be OT. More general philosophical or otherwise broad topics might give a little breathing room but imo not enough. Irl to be a close friend, I find someone has to be as willing to talk about what they ate for dinner the night before as what they think the point of the universe is, and everything in-between. That's how trust, empathy, understanding, and ultimately a stronger bond is built. Coming into a place with people of similar ideas will superficially feel good, you get that reinforcement and validation of your ideas, but this pales in comparison with genuine human community. I don't really have firm ideas or solutions. Finding a really good community, whether irl or online or whatever is one of my life goals though. I believe I'm still in the part of the journey where I need to define and learn what that even means, before I can find/join/build/etc one.
I have always loved Nighthawks and I think it's a great parallel to what people continue to experience today. People have become personal cells, rob05c brings up a good point with people living in tribal villages. They were individuals, sure, but they were a community first and foremost. Today everybody is a moving entity and communities are much harder to come upon, let alone maintain. With that and how incredibly nuanced a persons view points and persona can be, it's no wonder that loneliness is such a problem. There is an outlet in the diner, now in the internet and smartphones and Netflix, but is that really a solution?