I try not to get too emotionally invested in my clients, but I recently got a new one who is really fucking me up. His first two nights here he was climbing on the roofs of the houses on the property I work at, pointing his finger at other clients and yelling "bang bang." He started building a bunker in the yard with furniture. Then he started to get better; I got him set up with a licensed social worker friend of mine so he could be seen twice weekly by someone who doesn't have a massive case load (aka VA). He started only getting caught in paranoid delusions maybe every other day. For the past 5 years he's been pushed from agency to curb, to agency to curb, over and over again with no stability and no long term investment in his well being. Then bad news came to him. Then more bad news. And it keeps coming. Last night I found him unconscious in the grass with vomit all over him after he intentionally overdosed on his medicine. He's gonna be fine, but I think the severity of his PTSD is such that medicine or therapy can't substantially help him. At least the kind of medicine that doesn't completely cognitively castrate you. The worst of it all is that he's probably going to end back up on the street in a month when the company collapses.
Man, how do you keep fighting the good fight after seeing things like that?
Not sure how to answer this... but a lot of my veteran friends have killed themselves and I've been on that edge too, so it gives me more of a sense of purpose. If he had died it might be a different story. Dealing with alcoholics and drug addicts is a lot harder and makes me want to give up the fight moreso than anything else. I'm constantly looking out for the deceit and the manipulation that comes with their addictions and it can be really hard to not let this modality supersede compassion.