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comment by eqdw
eqdw  ·  3540 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: I Am Not My Internet Personality, and You Probably Aren’t Yours, Either.

Reading things like this can be kind of unsettling, because I emphatically am my "internet persona". Both in the sense that, for one, I act pretty much the same way in real life. For two, I do a majority of socializing online and so, were there a disconnect between my social media and meatspace personas, the former would be more 'real'.

But anyways, I very deliberately don't front on social media. I have trouble understanding when other people are, and so I don't. It feels very superficial and unreal, so I don't. The world has enough farce; I want something real.

I've recently experimented with fake internet personas, and it was kind of liberating, but mostly it felt alienating. On the one hand, it gave me newfound freedom to express unpopular ideas, take risks, and not have to constantly worry about offending people. On the other hand, it was almost worse; what if it turns out my fake persona is more popular than me, and then I'm forever stuck between "I can have fake friendships" vs "I can have none". The existential angst of my life.

"Facebook Envy", FOMO, whatever you want to call it, it's real. It hits me hard. And so I do my part, in my own way, to stop it. Sometimes it gets demoralizing