I've been thinking about the very hard-divide between two groups of people recently.
Group a, those who support all language being used all the time.
Group b, who think that certain words are inappropriate and should not be said.
Now, I have always been in group a. I personally don't use any words that are really controversial, outside of being particularly fond of words such as "fuck" "shit" and "damn it". However, I never have, and never will, support the idea of telling people that they shouldn't use a word. I have never taken issue with the use of "faggot" by a large number of middle school children, outside of labeling them as exactly that when I hear it.
The arguments are large and complex, for either side, but in general I tend to hear arguments along the lines of:
This word's common use reinforces the idea of something being bad in the mind of those who use it. Using this word is making them think less of groups of people, and that is a bad thing. Secondly, using these words make people uncomfortable with themselves, and make themselves think less of themselves, associating something that describes them with negative contexts.
That isn't true, and people can deal with it.
Personally, I tend to lean towards the second side of the debate.
The first idea is the one I really have issues with. The idea that saying a word makes people think bad things about others. Honestly, I don't find this true at all. Words can have many meanings, and most often when people use any word in a negative context, they are using as a word that is to be used in a negative context, not as a word that is using the description to put others down. One of the big reasons that the words fuck, shit, etc, became bad, was because they were the (german/french)? versions of words that were considered for the peasants. Today, those words are no longer used to really describe anything (or, used less often to), and are more just words to say when you are angry. When you say "fuck that" nowhere in your mind are you actually making the link to "have sex with that".
However, the second idea, I do agree with, to an extent. Regardless of intention or purpose, the use of some words can have a hugely negative connotation with some people. This negativity, despite intention, can lead people to be uncomfortable or unhappy in a situation. Now, assuming that the person actually is wanting to be in that situation, and is not just putting themselves there so they can put down use of certain words, I think it is absolutely reasonable and should be expected of people to not use or adjust their usage of words, so long as the word they are using has an actual basis or second-meaning somewhere that gives real reason for offense.
So, in the end, I think that it comes down to a middle ground. When you are in a situation that you are being heard by many people, you should take reasonable precaution to not push them away from yourself. Just as if you represent a business or some other entity. Going on xbox life, where you don't know who you are talking to, and using offensive words is not appropriate in any way. Sitting in a private chat room, with your friends, and using any offensive words is entirely fine, so long as it's not pushing anyone away from you.
As always, both sides have their points, and both sides are correct in many areas. We shouldn't expect people to act a way and talk a way and be a way we expect them to be. However, we should expect people to take actions to not push away or push down others.
So it's not appropriate to say certain things in certain places. However, it's not appropriate to expect society to constantly change or move it's ideals to a standard you believe is correct. It's not about doing what is right, it's about not hurting people, or taking reasonable precaution not to.